Most relationship problems are ultimately just a lust for life problem. Gf/wife unhappy, kids distant, some disconnect with the family etc. You try to solve the discomfort through tangible achievement. Think it's because you're not making enough, providing enough, "successful" enough You need to upsize the house, upgrade the vacations, perform more, show off more. Not realizing that this comparison based expectation you created in your mind and how it subsequently causes you to behave is exactly what's causing the problems in the first place Meanwhile the only problem is just a severe lack of vitality. You're boring and moody and see reality as an obligation and take yourself way too seriously. You're not a beacon of energy, you don't inspire the people around you, you don't inject wonder and curiosity into their lives. There's no adventure, no spontaneity, no presence. You lost their love because you lost the love for yourself