Gas Can Rex

My mom when I turn the WiFi router off/on

This is what the Hawk Tuah girl died for 🙏🙏🙏

I’d go toe to toe with anybody in a CVS self checkout speed trial. I’m zooming through that mf. Know every button layout. Absolute savant.

Lying to French people >>>

Wish I had my laptop and Bose quiet comforts rn.

I’m littering Zyn in countries you can’t pronounce, throwing up in toilets you can’t afford

⌨️ 💩

Lasagna breakfast

Did it in 7 innings and then saw PAWSA after. A true I’m him moment imho.

My Indian neighbor smoking cigs and cat calling woman on the stoop after a long day of coding

Bro lost his horse… I hope you’re happy @shaiglalex. Foul merchant.

A lot of ppl give Long Island a hard time (myself included) but it is one of the last bastions of American pride. Strong family values, slightly racist, and a surprising amount of firearms.

Can’t wait to ask my friends conservative father what he thinks about zohran Mandani tomorrow (retired 35+ years in construction)

Ditching my cab due to gay pride parade eve traffic to transition to citibiking