@GOPDnD

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DM: A large group of goblins closes in on you DT: I rally my subjects DM: They overthrew you last campaign LG: Oh yeah DT: Didn't happen, fake adventure LG: That's right, he's right MM: <mutters> Just shut up, Lindsey. #GOPDnD

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Cleric Mitch: HE's gone! We can get back to... Paladin Greene: Our neighbors are stealing our children to drink their blood to stay young! Mitch: (head in hands) Why, just why

Invoking Rule 13: From now on #SJW stands for Selfish Jerk Wads. And the purveyors of right wing name calling are conservikids. Let the War Of WordZ And Acronyms continue! #WOWZAA

Cleric:...and the holy light turned the zombies away Fighter: Since some were trolls we doused their remains in avid DT: So if they return and you're bitten, shine a torch on the wound and drink a little acid so they'll die from biting you Villagers: 🤔😐🤨 #GOPDnD

DM: After much thought, the king has agreed to open the kingdom's martketplaces despite the plague still being present. DT: But keep the borders closed DM: The king says "What?" DT: Only local peasants, no forgein trade DM: The king is stunned silent #GOPDnD

DT: All the kingdom's scribes and clerics have come up with a plan to fight the deadly plague. But I will support the barons and dukes as each of their lands have different circumstances. (In the Duchy of Chess and Peaks) Crier: The king urges the overthrow of the Duke! #GOPDnD

Cleric: This gold we acquired will save the people once we distrib... What are you doing? DT: Carving my name on these coins Cl: But, the rest of us killed the dragon DT: I...taunted it Cl: WHILE HIDING BEHIND... DT: (goes back to carving) #GOPDnD

DT: Elves are bad people. We need to remove all the elves. City: We won't turn over the elves to you DT: Since you live them so much I'm going to send you even more City: ...The elves you don't like. The elves you want gone. DT: Yes. That will show you. #GOPDnD

DT: The honorable Duke has killed this noble farmer's dog... Farmer: He did, but it was attacking him DT: ...as he trespassed on his land... Farm: Coming to reward me for service DT: ...causing his family grief Farm: You killed my brother last week

Party: What happened to all our gold?!?! DT: There was an emergency. I used it to buy this. Party: A solid gold cloak...for your horse? DT: It's a barrier against those dirty flies Party: How is that an emergency? DT: You didn't give the gold to me when I asked Party:

DT: We must fortify our kingdom against the invading horde DM: (checks notes) What horde? DT: All the invaders coming our way DM: You mean your neighbors fleeing the orcs? DT: They will ruin our kingdom when they sneak in DM: They're just coming up the road. They seek sanctuary.

GOP:A terrible thing has happened! Fighter: Our soldiers are dying? Rogue: The wealthy nobles oppress the people? Cleric: The poor are starving? Wizard: The use of magic has upset the natural balance? GOP: The new princess danced when she was younger! #GOPDnD