Islam ☪️ is a religion of peace❤️
Jannah
Joined February 2026
- Tweets30.8K
- Following611
- Followers2.5K
- Likes30.9K
humairah🥀 retweeted
Waitress: “Sir, you’ve paid for the same table every Friday for two years. Who are you waiting for?”
Customer: “My wife.”
Waitress: “Your wife? She hasn’t come here with you once?”
Customer: “Not in two years.”
Waitress: “Then why keep paying for the table?”
Customer: “Because she promised she’d come back here if she ever remembered who I was.”
Waitress: “I’m sorry… remembered who you were?”
Customer: “She has Alzheimer’s.”
Waitress: “Does she remember this restaurant?”
Customer: “She remembers the table. She just doesn’t remember me.”
humairah🥀 retweeted
Hospital Nurse: “Mrs Carter, I need you to return to the hospital immediately. And please, don’t hand your baby over to anyone until you get here.”
Mother: “What? Why? What’s happened?”
Nurse: “There’s been a serious issue with the newborn discharge records.”
Mother: “What issue? I left this hospital two hours ago.”
Nurse: “Another mother has just reported that the baby she took home doesn’t match the identification details she was given.”
Mother: “Okay, but what does that have to do with me?”
Nurse: “We’re checking the records of every baby discharged this morning.”
Mother: “Are you telling me you gave me somebody else’s baby?”
Nurse: “We haven’t established that yet.”
Mother: “Then why are you telling me not to hand my baby over to anyone?”
Nurse: “Mrs Carter, please come back. We need to verify the identity of your child.”
Mother: “You checked my wristband. You brought the baby to my room. You told me everything matched. Now you’re calling me two hours later saying you don’t know whose baby I have?”
humairah🥀 retweeted
Restaurant Owner: “Why do you always order one meal and ask for two sets of cutlery?”
Customer: “I’m sorry. Is that against your policy?”
Restaurant Owner: “No, I’m just curious. I’ve noticed you do it almost every evening.”
Customer: “Oh. It’s nothing.”
Restaurant Owner: “You come here every day around 6 p.m., don’t you?”
Customer: “Almost every day.”
Restaurant Owner: “And you always order the same chicken and rice.”
Customer: “It’s my daughter’s favourite.”
Restaurant Owner: “But I’ve never seen her come in with you.”
Customer: “She’s at home.”
Restaurant Owner: “Why don’t you bring her along sometime?”
Customer: “She’s been in a wheelchair since the accident. Getting her out of the house isn’t easy.”
humairah🥀 retweeted
OUTSIDE 🌍✨
Taking you somewhere beyond the ordinary. My new visualizer for OUTSIDE out now on YouTube.
youtu.be/dGOQ-HW8AwM
humairah🥀 retweeted
What if this was Sydney Sweeney?🧐
Same blonde bob. Same pink lace dress. Same red-carpet pose. Only the frame is fuller, and suddenly the whole photo feels different.
humairah🥀 retweeted
Early trading is not just about finding a good token.
It's also about how quickly you can react when a new opportunity appears.
That's where @Hypesium comes in.
Now live on Elysium mainnet, Hypesium brings a Telegram-based trading experience built around speed and simple execution.
Users can bridge assets from EVM chains in one flow, buy and sell tokens, and snipe new launches as liquidity pools open.
But there's more to it than getting into a trade early.
You can monitor your positions, track profit and loss, and set sell limits to manage your exits.
I also find the Telegram approach interesting because traders can access these tools without constantly switching between different platforms.
Of course, speed doesn't remove trading risks. Execution, liquidity and proper risk management still matter.
The real question is how Hypesium performs as activity on Elysium grows.
The tools are live. Now real usage will tell the story.
Powered by @starlisting
humairah🥀 retweeted
HR: “Your salary has been reduced by 10% this month because of your repeated late arrivals.”
Employee: “Excuse me? Why was my salary reduced?”
HR: “Our attendance records show that you've been arriving one hour late almost every day.”
Employee: “I've explained that the company shuttle has been arriving late.”
HR: “Transportation is your personal responsibility.”
Employee: “But the company introduced the shuttle service and assigned it to employees.”
HR: “That doesn't change our attendance policy.”
Employee: “I understand the policy, but nobody informed me that my salary would be deducted.”
HR: “The deduction was approved by management.”
Employee: “I would like a copy of the attendance report and the calculation used to reduce my salary.”
humairah🥀 retweeted
The 100ms block time sounds impressive, but why does it actually matter when you’re trying to snipe a new token?
Think about what happens when a pool goes live.
Every moment between the pool being created and your transaction reaching it can mean someone else gets in before you.
That’s why @Hypesium is built around Elysium’s speed.
Elysium produces a new block every 100ms, uses HYPE as gas, and has no public mempool.
That last part is especially important.
There isn’t a public transaction queue where everyone can watch your pending buy and react to it.
So Hypesium isn’t just trying to send a transaction quickly.
It’s built to execute around the exact moment the pool is created.
humairah🥀 retweeted
This guy walks on water and look how people react to seeing him do it
The Cashier Paid for the Old Woman's Bread. A Week Later, Her Neighbour's Son Walked In With an Envelope.
Daniel had been working at the supermarket for three years.
The evening shift was usually quiet.
That night, an elderly woman reached his counter with a loaf of bread and a small cake.
She began counting coins from a worn purse.
The line behind her grew longer.
Someone sighed loudly.
“Ma, it’s $4 short,” Daniel said gently.
She searched her purse again.
“I’m sorry. I thought I had enough.”
She reached for the cake to put it back.
“Please leave it,” Daniel said.
humairah🥀 retweeted
Patient's Relative: Doctor, please, can you tell me what happened to my brother? We were told his condition was improving.
Doctor: I'm deeply sorry. We did everything medically possible, but unfortunately, we couldn't save him.
Patient's Relative: What do you mean you couldn't save him? I spoke to him on the phone just three hours ago.
Doctor: I understand how difficult this is, but his condition suddenly deteriorated despite our intervention.
Patient's Relative: So you're telling me that my brother is dead?
Doctor: I'm afraid so. Please accept our sincere condolences.
Nurse: We are truly sorry for your loss. May God give your family strength.
Patient's Relative: Please, can we see his body? My mother is waiting outside, and she needs to see her son.
Nurse: Of course, but you may need to speak with the billing department first.
Patient's Relative: Billing department? What does money have to do with seeing my dead brother?
Nurse: Sir, there are outstanding medical bills that have not been settled.
