James Larson (@itsjameslarson) header
James Larson (@itsjameslarson) profile picture

i once ate an avocado

Los Angeles, CA
Joined June 2010
I’ve completed my full-time, unpaid internship at Sitting On My Couch All Day.
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Ordering exercise equipment I’ll never use gives my fingers a great work out
Breaking News: My stomach is considering whether to have lunch or a snack
they said the 2008 financial crisis was a once-in-a-lifetime event, so does this 2020 stuff mean i’ve lived two lifetimes already?
12 days of Christmas but it’s 2020 so each day another continent implodes and the universe is sucked into a black hole by the end
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I like free speech. It’s such a better deal than expensive speech.
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Yes I’m dumb but have you seen how stupid the guy in my mirror is?
I’m getting in shape you guys but the shape is octagonal prism
During this pandemic my like handles have become love handles (I hope they don’t turn into everlasting love handles)
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“Dear Supreme Court, do u like me? Circle Y or N”
Do you get the impression that the Supreme Court doesn’t like me?
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i don’t know, it’s been SO long since world war 2 came out, it seems like making a trilogy is just a cash grab, ya know? #worldwar3
if @BillGates is going to microchip me please (PLEASE) use macOS (but not Catalina). sorry bill.
I’m flattered that Facebook ads think I’m a fitness trainer looking for more clients when I’m really a PJ wearer looking for more ice cream #personaltrainer #fitnesstrainer #icecream
Wait so the Mayan calendar doomsday people are quiet right when we need them most?
Who invented the no. 1 pencil and how did they get blackballed from the standardized test industry?
To a flat earther, does love make the world go flat?