Joel Danger

Sorry, I only date internet models.

Sumo is interesting to watch because while the sport is Japanese, the outfits are very American.

It's 2017 and we are still dealing with nazis, communists, and pirates...smh.

@freebirdy31 I really like what you've done with all the penis on your page

New drum machine instagram.com/p/BQ4j3hNBCyO5…

It's the weekend. Perhaps try drugs.

I like my cocaine whiter than a Trump voter

It's always good to sit back, relax, takes a few deep breathes and gently remind yourself that nobody cares about your fucking feelings.

It doesn't matter what kind of list I make, queso is always #2 on that list.

[goes to social events] [doesn't talk to anyone] [complains about no social life]

Santorini R&R – at Greece

When in Rome... – at Rome, Lazio

"Do you have wifi?" "Do you have goats?" - me, booking travel arrangements

[visits oldest known city] BRB...gotta go pet that stray dog – at Attiki, Greece

Sorry Stella – at Salamina, Greece

When in Rome...or close enough – at Salamina, Greece

[bombs go off in NYC] OMG MATT LEBLANC IS A SEXIST FOR WANTING TO WATCH A SHOW WITH A NAKED WOMAN IN IT

Can't wait to tell my future kids I lived in a time when you could shit on both presidential candidates and everyone agreed with you

When history looks back, the eyebrows of the 2010's will be compared to the ridiculous hair of the 1980's.

The moment when your IG story gets played but its immediately followed up by an Italian billionaires dance party with Victoria Secret models