Jon Jones

you ever send a text to the right person, and then get hit with a “lol wrong person?” I would rather die than try to recover the conversation from that situation thank you

When I was a kid I was ashamed that if I had joined the crew of a pirate ship in the 1700s, they’d know I didn’t belong because of my smooth un-calloused hands

it’s a crime that you spell cornea without an ‘i’

Have you ever been bade adieu

Questions that give me anxiety: 1. Are my kids going to inherit a better world than I did? 2. At what point in a drive through car wash am I supposed to put my car in neutral, and will I get yelled at when I get it wrong?

Since my two year old started eating the first two thirds of a peanut butter sandwich, I’ve eaten more one-thirds of peanut butter sandwiches than ever before

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent is the best movie I’ve seen this year, easily. @NickCageMovie thank you for this gift

TBT 2015 when I went to Belgium and got engaged and ⁦@CNN⁩ was kind enough to immortalize the occasion in a counter terrorism article (I’m in the khaki pants sizing up real army people)

Middle school geometry really oversold the rhombus imo

covid sucks paxlovid rules

With all the negativity, I'd like take a moment to thank @ComEd for fixing our power outage yesterday after the storm . keep up the good work

Pasting the screenshot so I don’t have to type it twice (text with @martynwendell )

This is part 2/2 of a rollercoaster ride with my brother