allen retweeted
they’re advocating for nudes and sampling the product in the quotes today, tomorrow now men go be ‘lustful demons’
"Shortly after my wedding, I discovered that my husband had a micro-penis. We’d known each other for nearly three years, but decided to wait until marriage to have sex because we were both committed Christians.
I expected our sex life to begin after the wedding, but he kept making excuses and avoiding me.
allen retweeted
i saw the odyssey today, and while the sirens sang, i saw and heard all my long distance relationships scattered across the world
allen retweeted
Sitting president dey make campaign promises like new candidate, as if he no get the power to do am now
allen retweeted
If you fake an orgasm with me I will actually laugh out loud cos you are not doing me you are doing yourself 😭😂
It is better you use your hand and mouth and say what you like and we will figure it out.
The first time I faked an orgasm and then he actually made me cùm and I SCREAMED
So I have a confession within a confession. I fake it. A lot. Not with every guy but with most of them because it's easier than giving a thirty minute tutorial on my anatomy and sometimes you just want the sex to end so you can eat a snack and watch something.
Last month I hooked up with this guy from my building. Cute, nice, great kisser. We got to the main event and he was doing his thing and it was... fine. Good enough. After about fifteen minutes I did my usual performance, the moan, the "oh god," the leg shake, the whole production, and he STOPPED and looked at me and said "that was fake."
I was mortified. No one had ever called me out before. He said "I've made women cum before and that's not what it looks or sounds like. You tensed the wrong muscles. Let me actually try."
allen retweeted
IF YOU’RE ALIVE THEN ACT ALIVE. I mean what the hell. fall in love with something. get carried away. give yourself a reason to be absolutely exhausted by the end of the day and still wish you had a few more hours. this is your life. get your hands dirty
