𝚝𝚒𝚖 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍

You talk a lot of shit for someone within cumshot distance

Finally learning to live without lebron James

Never lost my virginity because I never lose

When I tell people I’m in an abusive relationship, why do they assume I’m the victim?

Nice opinion, one small issue I’ve planted a land mine as an undisclosed location inside of your house.

*gets shot 42 times* Uh oh spaghettios!

I am not reading from a *turns page* script

Who’s the guy from that thing? Im having a brain queef right now

My cupholders hold anything as long as it's a cup

We all wanna be Target queens, but growing up is realizing that sometimes we have no choice but to go to Walmart

Okay google, is dollar genital open?

Live Laugh Lurk

Bro strawberry milk isn’t vegan strawberries come from cows

“Yummy French fry” quoth the raven

don’t expect a bless you after the third sneeze you FREAK

In god we thrust

Mother Nature is a milf

Feeling microaggressive today

Oh shit I forgot about 9/11 am I in trouble? they said to never do that