“It’s all a complete farce you understand? We’re born into a losing struggle...No one comes out of this a winner." Christopher Hitchens
Joined June 2023
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The hate of my tennis-playing friends may be more particular and defensive than the hate of non-tennis players without “skin in the game,” but we’re united in our contempt for reasons I spell out here. #pickleball
I've heard people complain that Trump is making a speech on the first night of Passover. What can be more appropriate? Frogs, boils, locusts...Trump.
When a giant passes, we show our appreciation by placing him/her in the pantheon of fellow artists via two formulas we developed for just such occasions (with the assistance of ChatGPT, Grok, and Claude). #RobertDuvall
I asked five leading LLMs to apply Rodney Dangerfield's tried and true formula to the following bare bones setup: a man walks into a dentist’s office. Here are the results. theloserchronicles.substack.…
Bennett took a moment to scan the assortment of human life forms occupying seats meant for their betters. “If this is what passes as first class, I can’t imagine what goes on beyond those curtains.” bit.ly/43PQnL4
When 6 fierce-looking men from a region in Afghanistan clad in elaborate ethnic garb, reeking of sweat and livestock sat down for a light bite at the Rack and Loin, a S&M-themed topless bar on Manhattan’s W. Side, they didn’t expect it to turn into a near international incident.
A coach on the day of the big game settles your nerves and gets you focused by emphasizing the habits and principles that got you there. Establish a cadence, go with the flow, commit to the grind. #ElectionDay #electionday2024 tinyurl.com/2ez3s549
Cal Naismith, the org's Pres.: "Our athletes have trained year-round for the event. The ability to strike an ass measuring 18-24 inches across and find your mark consistently over some three hours...requires extraordinary athleticism and discipline." tinyurl.com/3c6v4s4u
#SuperBowlLVIII Predictions: Time @taylorswift13 is on camera: 32 seconds. % of 8-12 yr old girls who go to school on Monday sleep-deprived and unprepared to learn: 65% % of MAGA nation that wakes up sleep-deprived due to all-night rage-tweeting: 100%. shorturl.at/djkDM
Legendary sports reporter comes out of retirement to make 16 predictions re #SuperBowl. #6: frst commercial to completely suck: Toss up between Popeyes and Hellman’s Mayonnaise - a combined $14 million spent hawking bad cholesterol. theloserchronicles.substack.…
16 #SuperBowl58 predictions: 1. Usher’s half-time show will be better than the Black Eyed Peas & Maroon 5, but not as good as watching @taylorswift13 in the exec ste. singing to “You Make Me Wanna” while dodging a stark raving naked Jason Kelce.
theloserchronicles.substack.…
As the latest campaign in the forever #WarOnChristmas grinds on for another season, the #WarOnHanukkah rages, with arguably more broad-based intensity, but with relatively little media coverage or coordinated push-back. theloserchronicles.substack.…
You could show me pictures of me at 15 and tell me stories when the grass was so green, but nothing brings it all back - what I was feeling and thinking, or not feeling and thinking - as vividly as the 17 songs on this timeless album. @TheWho
This post combines three of my least favorite things: heat, insects, and the end of civilization as we know it. But bear with me, there are some laughs at the bottom of the ravine.
shorturl.at/mrFIV "What I lack is a belief that the outcome of a tennis match is within my control...In the moments in which Gilbert sees opportunity, I can focus only on my imminent demise." @jaycaspiankang
.@jaycaspiankang DFW: "She was a genius. How must it have felt?" Michael Joyce, the subject of "String Theory" is a friend; he related a story of DFW's interview with Federer: he was granted 15 minutes during Wimbledon and per Mike, didn't ask a single question.
John McEnroe: Sore Loser…or Temperamental Artist? shorturl.at/bBIW1 @jaycaspiankang
A software developer, a Lacanian psychoanalyst, and an improv comedian walked into a bar in Berkley…It sounds like the set-up to a joke, but it’s essentially the “origin story” of PeerHealth, a digital behavioral health company founded in 2021 shorturl.at/jotQU
