AroAce af on the brink of insanity maybe. I actually am medicated now lol
Joined October 2017
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Best thing I learned in therapy is learning how to exist by actually expressing how I feel. I still have my lapses and thankfully my therapist don't tolerate me for it. but I want to learn to stand my ground with more grace instead of apologizing for taking up space.
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Because not everyone can actually provide the safe space they needed without joking around it and setting it aside. It isn't necessarily a bad thing but it's just a relief and avoidance, Not a "fix" nor anything permanently helpful.
Backstabbing for the sake of "tea" is so outdated, been there done that, and I feel horrible for it now that I'm thinking about it. We glorify non-confrontation way too much for being one-sided cause it benefits our ego until no one really takes things seriously anymore.
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I actually see value in friendships that don't always agree with me. I don't need tolerance nor asking to be treated with kindness. I need mature, difficult conversations that does not aim to hurt but to understand.
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yappy af anw here's the link to Lisyun Qng Geografia the short film that introduced me to Ourselves the Elves probably my favorite band.
cinemata.org/view?m=UHK97YHg…
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A part of me doesn't want to leave yet because I have yet to prove myself to myself that I have improved lol though I still find 70% of my works to be utter shit but hey at least it's not everything which is something eyy lol
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Been happy with my works lately mostly cause I think I can finally say I can build a portfolio out of it (lol after 3 years working at this shitty company) at least I can say I improved in some aspects in a way. Maybe I can finally rebuild my portfolio 👀👀
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Not bitter I just hate it when elitists find a way to excuse their behavior instead of actually knowing how to unlearn it. Awareness is a step but it isn't really doing anything lol
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I was able to experience a bit of privilege growing up until everything fell off and I basically have to live through my own paycheck to paycheck. And brooooo istg shit's gonna make you think REAL hard just to buy something for yourself and not for survival LOL
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People who were raised with consistent financial stability shouldn't be talking about anything related to handling money. Like y'all can risk anything and still have food to eat and a house to live in.
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Overheard a rich co-worker who was raised with a golden spoon talk about privilege and saying "at least I'm aware of it" like it excuses her elitist remarks over anything she doesn't find "Luxurious". Like lol bitch stfu
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Therapy and Meds are nice but the things that are happening is too heartbreaking for me and I've really lost so much will to continue.
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Month of individuality and lots and lots of soul-searching. Never let other people deny you of what you Identify yourself as just because they have different beliefs they probably found somewhere else.
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Anyways happy pride month wahoo I can't go to the march my legs are non-existent from last night's Fete kajshdbf
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Sometimes I feel like we all tend to rely on what's easier than actually trying to process something. Maybe we should try and grow out of our insecurities than feeding it further and "validating" it. But hey at least now I can say I'm actually trying to do something about it.
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I’m trying my best to beat the living shit of this brain but it keeps winning. I’m fucking trying damn it.
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