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Why is it every Halloween candy assortment has to try to sneak in that one shitty candy no one wants? It’s like going out with all your favorite people and then your childhood dentist comes too. No one wants you here, Dr. Steve aka milk duds.

Playing the fun game at work called is it too early to eat my sandwich?

Are you in a season of opening? Or are you closing? Blooming isn’t easy. It feels like waiting. I’ve never been good at trusting time. But every bud must grow before it bursts. Just you wait. Your joy. Your blossom will come.

Anyone tried pumpkin therapy? You go to a farm and forget about life and focus on choosing just the right pumpkin to cut open with a knife and slaughter for pumpkin seeds. It’s very healing. Just not for the pumpkin.

I hope you take on today with the confidence of my cat going into the cabinet to grab her own treats.

I wish people had an unsubscribe button.

All morning productivity has come to a cat-sized hault.

I feel like I haven’t made enough progress on my next book so I thought I’d try something new. I woke up and just started writing it. Follow me for more unhinged writing advice.

I love babies but when I look into a stroller and see a dog, I may get even more excited. Especially when the dog is in a seasonal orange pumkin sweater. Sorry random lady for my outburst of enthusiasm but you’re the one pushing around the ridiculous cuteness.

I thought I was strong. But then I watched a video from a shelter where the dog runs out and chooses his person. And now I’m a blubbering mess. Dogs are joy with tails.

Well, the first time I thought it was a fluke but now I know it’s real. My cat now climbs into the snack cabinet and knocks out her treats and waits for the dog to paw them open and then they both eat them. I’m no longer needed here.

Sorry I can’t do my work today. I’ve lost my favorite pen and nothing feels right.

Why do cats climb into cabinets like they’re about to find Narnia?

As a freelancer, it’s funny working in an office sometimes. Like I forgot about “good morning” people. The people who have to greet everyone like it’s their job. My job? Look deeply into my coffee while hoping the “good morning” people spontaneously combust.

As you get older you realize some dreams won’t ever be realized. Like I wanted to secretly learn a language and then break into a conversation about me and say in that language, “I understand Mandarin too,” and then walk away like a badass. But instead, I still get English wrong

“This is why AI can't replace humans. This is soooo much better than anything claude or gemini ever suggested.” And today, this freelance writer is smiling thanks to that client comment. My creativity: 1 AI: 0

I love going to the library when it first opens. There’s a quiet gentleness to the air. It’s a sacred space like a church of books. You can still feel the happiness of the people the day before.

Went to see the salmon Struggling to return home to die. I wonder what home will look like to me When it’s my time to return. Will it be a memory, a face, a place In the river of my mind. I think the salmon are brave. Or maybe I’m used to seeing struggling As something beautiful