Nick Trepka

Seriously though how is it that razors don’t just peel your face off

In my nakedness Holding too many items Searching for pockets

See it, Say it, Sausage.

Apparently fog machines absolutely do set off smoke alarms so my dreams of mystic living are once more on hold

Charades, but it’s power tools

Under these exact conditions, for which nobody is to blame, this was the only possible outcome. Discuss

If anyone knows the person who first said that sharp knives are safer than blunt ones, can you put them my way please, I’d like to have a word

Underwhelming realities of popular song: Adele charging around in a downpour with a soggy clipper

You’re telling me there’s 2-3 servings in this big bag of NikNaks yeah? Ok cool I’ll just eat half and save the rest for later

Turns out you can eat throat sweets whenever you want to

l might just start using a Iowercase L in pIace of an uppercase i and see if my Iife starts to unraveI

“I want you to call me the minute you’re piping your icing over an elaborate cake.” My wife, @rachel_grrr, to my dad, Feb 2025

A View-Master full of dicks

🎶 “Feliz Navidad” sang the radio, during the most strenuous part of my hygienist appointment

This is the uncooked interior of a chicken kiev

Bineapple and panana bancake

Having moved through a few carriages just now, one of the two following statements must be true 1. I smell of piss 2. ⁠this entire train smells of piss #hulltrains

Every time your mother sneezes, somewhere a flock of birds takes flight.

Quiche Lorraine is just bacon and egg pie

Quicksand seems to be much less of a problem these days than it used to be