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Never understood people who get angry over hot cross buns being on shelves at supermarkets a bit early. Like oh no a delicious tasty treat is available to me now?? That’s so fucked??? Grow up
Did u grow up in an AFL state or an NRL state? Fucken neither I grew up in a state of longing
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People say “there’s so many fish in the sea!” and i’m like yeah, that’s the problem. I’ve been on a campaign to drain the ocean ever since I discovered how big manta rays are
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Once they invent a cure for being a total slave to any and all awful whims that enter my head it is OVER for you bitches
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Do I wanna go back to stand up comedy? or do I just need to call life line again? The tyranny of questioning rolls on
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Catching up w an old friend who exclusively refers to me as “Dick” (short for Dickola) which is shock to a system of already fried nerves
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If you see me eating ham from the bag in Prince Alfred Park just know I am FINE but I am NOT TO BE DISTURBED under any circumstances
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Inventing time travel just to knock the pen out of Joan Armatrading’s hand before she could write The Weakness in Me
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