Zenite

I think I'm at that point again where I'm desperately looking for a team, a project, or a community I can contribute to. And yeah, I know it's weird to even use the word “desperate” at this point. But I'll admit it, these past few months, especially since the start of the year, things haven't really gone right on my end. A lot of it affected me more than I expected. My drive, my motivation, even just opening this app… it all started to feel like a burden. There were days where I honestly wanted to distance myself from all of this. But at the same time, I couldn't fully walk away. I’ve spent years here. This space changed my life. So no matter how heavy it gets, I still find myself checking in -- still clinging to whatever hope I've got left in me. That said, I have been having a really hard time getting back to my old footing. Disappointments piled up. And lately I've been thinking… maybe it’s time I try something new. Do something new. Be part of something new. For the past three years, I gave almost everything I had -- my time, effort, and even my own money into one single community. I stayed loyal to a fault. Maybe that’s just who I am. Maybe it's one of those weird values I hold onto... when I believe in something, I go all in. I pour myself into it. And because of that, I also tend to hold myself back from exploring anything else. Like I'm afraid that moving forward means letting go of everything I once cared about. But looking at it now, I think it's time. Things have felt counterproductive for me lately. I've been stuck. And maybe the only way to move again is to step out. To venture out. To contribute somewhere new. Somewhere I can grow again. That's how I want to spend the rest of the year. Rebuilding. Getting back to the things I used to love doing. Writing. Creating. Sharing useful things for the community. Helping teams build. Supporting projects the best way I know how. I've never been the type to chase money or grind for the sake of grinding. As long as I can support myself and my family, that's enough for me. What I really need is purpose. That's what fuels me. That's what I lost somewhere along the way. And maybe part of that is because I've felt so alone lately. Disconnected from the community I once felt so strongly about. So this is me now... still figuring things out. Still hoping I'll find that team, that space, that purpose again. Somewhere I can offer what I know best. Somewhere I can feel alive again. So yes, desperately looking for a place that I could be of 'use' again. Yes, use me as much as you can. I would be more than happy to give without anything in return. I've proven that to the communities that I've been with over the past years.