@normAL219

Might be being a touch sarcastic…

 Durham, England
Joined October 2018
  • Tweets34.3K
  • Following8.5K
  • Followers16K
3.8KMedia
*Breaking * Survivors of the 1976 UK heatwave are to be offered counselling and an apology from the Met Office for them not issuing a warning that the sun can be hot.
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Just call the next storm ‘Miliband’ then all these power cuts will make sense…..
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Woolworths & C&A by any chance ?
Politics UK
@PolitlcsUK10h
🚨 NEW: Rachel Reeves is rumoured to quit as an MP to "cash in" on her experience as Chancellor It comes after she "secretly met" two City companies in the last fortnight [@MillardClothier]
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Dog : What’s this clocks going back one hour bullshit ? Get up and feed me…
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🚨 Don’t forget to put your clocks back to the 1970’s tonight 🚨
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🚨 Get your nuclear war ‘Wind Up’ radios featuring James O’Brien and Jeremy Vine shows on a loop - only £2.99 on Amazon 🚨
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Yeah, run out of supply every now and then, blame the Russians and tell us all to get sleeping bags, bottled water, and tinned food. Another cost saving in every post code …..
The Labour Party
@UKLabourOct 23
Labour has a plan to bring down energy bills for good.
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Could someone ask Fraser Nelson to do a graph for this ?
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Labour has gone from ‘Hope’ to ‘Stock up on food or you’ll die’.
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Could you produce a graph for those in the South West this morning ?Something along the lines of it’s not as windy as they think it is.
Fraser Nelson
@FraserNelsonOct 22
The new crime survey is out - the "Lawless Britain" picture in full - Violence at lowest since records began in 1981 - Corroborated by hospital figures for knife wounds - Robbery: record low - Overall crime 78% below 1995 peak. - Shoplifting up More:- comment.press/lawless

"Lawless Britain" - an update

"Lawless Britain" - an update

comment.press
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Torch ✅ Water ✅ Sleeping bag ✅ Wind up radio ✅ Tinned food ✅ Labour Government ✅
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🚨 Andy Burnham to authorise the culling of pigeons that shite on your car after you’ve washed it 🚨
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BREAKING: Andy Burnham has banned all breaking news posts after too many of them made him look ridiculous. The P.M said the ban was needed “to protect people with no sense of humour” — starting with himself. Further updates will be released once everyone has stopped laughing.
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| Breaking | Andy Burnham offers Ed Miliband £1 bus fare season ticket as an olive branch for Jackdaw decision
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Replying to @normAL219
Its precisely headkines like that that i wrote this xitter.cf/KingBobIIV/status/2112…
Queen Bee
@KingBobIIVOct 20
With Britain facing crises on every front, Labour has unveiled its latest masterpiece: Operation Two For Joy, a sweeping plan to tackle the menace of lone magpies, standardise anti sorrow guidance, and finally tell the public where they stand at long last.

Labour Announces Emergency Ban on Lone Magpies Following Concerns Over “Sorrow”.

Article · @KingBobIIV
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You see that? Andy Burnham just gave you an extra hour in bed.
🤖 Made with AI
GOV.UK
@GOVUKOct 20
The clocks go back by one hour on 25 October at 2am, which means you’ll gain an hour ⏰ What will you do with the extra time? Let us know below 👇
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🚨 Andy Burnham calls on supermarkets to make packs of Ham easier to open 🚨
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“You know that feeling when you wake up on Monday morning and think uggh ..work… Well now you don’t have to.. we’re going to screw businesses up so badly, you’ll get made redundant and thrown on the scrap heap. Have a great day !”
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| Breaking | Andy Burnham is set to authorise the implementation of single yellow lines and a loading only area outside the Library in Heckmondwike West Yorkshire.
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Could someone draw him the bigger picture ? Crayons will do….
Tharries@TharriesYTOct 19
I forgot Andy Burnham was also the President of France
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“We will bun lode music on the bises to stip this reoting”
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