If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, bin-Laden & Radko Gudas I would shoot Gudas twice
Joined January 2024
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#DefundLibrariesNow retweeted
🚨 🚨 BRAKING 🚨 🚨
Donald Trump has just fired his longtime Chef of Staff, Suzanne “Susie” Wiles
Stephen Miller is the interim replacement, but he will not be confirmed by the Senate, so the position will soon be open again
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When O.J. Simpson trial juror Gina Rodboro returned home this week, her little girls were delighted to have her back.
And no wonder, she lets them get away with murder.
You spend a large portion of your life perfecting a move then all of the suddenly everyone is doing it
Sad
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😭 Pittsburgh Driver Loses It In Standstill 376 Traffic: “This Sh*t Ain’t Never Fixed” 🚗
A driver stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on 376 in Pittsburgh pulled out his phone and let it out, and honestly, he’s not wrong 😂
#pittsburgh #376 #never #fixed #viral
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On Wednesday, Michael Jackson and wife Debbie Rowe became the proud parents of a seven pound, ten ounce baby boy.
Asked about the baby's appearance, a family spokesman said he has Debbie's eyes, LaToya's mouth, and one of Michael's noses.
(A decent laugh from the crowd here. Although they don't realize that Norm is simply setting them up for the second, much bigger punchline...)
And according to his dad, the three-day-old boy is a regular chip off the old block. In fact, he has already molested a one-day-old boy.
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The left has already taken over and already put an Indian on my television . Who the hell is Chief Meteorologist.
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Norm Macdonald doing pure Dangerfield on Conan: ‘Until I met my wife I felt incomplete. Now I’m finished.’
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My wife and husband are going to be so excited to see this
California city makes history allowing throuples, foursomes to legally register as partners trib.al/injZnvo
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I once saw a guy buying lube at CVS and in a moment of whimsy I went up behind him and whispered, "Your grandma is gonna love that" and he followed me to my car and wrote down my license plate number.
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Missing my friend tonight
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Norm: My wife went into a coma.
Conan: Oh, sorry to hear that.
Norm: And the doctor said to me... he says to me... "There's one way to wake her up, but it's a little unconventional. You go in there and you have oral sex with her."
I said, "By God."
He says, "I've seen it work."
I said, "Well, I'm willing to try."
So I go in there, I'm in there about five minutes, and I come out.
I said, "Doc, she's chokin'."
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i have never voted or ever cared who won in a election because im not a loser
elections matter #about as much as yield signs
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In his book, O.J. Simpson says that he would have taken a bullet or stood in front of a train for Nicole.
Man, I'm gonna tell ya, that is some bad luck.
When the one guy who would have died for you, kills you.
That's probably ... you don't get worse luck than that.
