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The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!” And I’ll look down and whisper “Darude sandstorm”
as a 36yo musician, the most rage inducing bait i see online is normal people earnestly liking bands i think are terrible
me to the shawty on letterboxd: you know i have something of a “wild hog” myself ;) play your cards right and i’ll show you the “director’s cut” (im circumcised)
apple names at the store in 2013: honeycrisp, fuji, red delicious, granny smith
apple names at the store now: sweet pink pussy, sugartoes, fat twink, jizz
nearly vehicular manslaughtering an entire family trying to tweet “she jiminy on my glick til my martin short” while driving home drunk
little known fact: the Q in LGBTQ stands for “Queequeg”, FBI Special Agent Dana Scully’s dog from the x-files
If I looked up into the night sky and instead of the moon and stars I saw a giant drone Deadpool face I would just kill myself







