lil acorn retweeted
My domineering parents set completely unattainable standards by telling me I should “do what makes me happy”. I envy my pampered diaspora friends, hothouse flowers afforded the simple metrics “become a lawyer”, “stop being gay”
*shouting across Ellen’s moat as guard begin to swarm my location*
I’ve got a new kid, he’s called the jizzler and he’s all sticky and such!!
I’m kinda like the 5th beatle, but for Maroon 5, i suggested maroon 6 but then Adam sprayed me with his acid and I had to take a step down from the electric banjo
Gotta get back into my tweeting mode, been smashing my head and penis against similar shaped and dense rocks to get in the “mood”
*Trying to impress a girl by reciting the “Choose life monologue” from train spotting but I forgot how it starts *
Pick lives
My first decree as mayor would be to hire giraffes as fire poles for the fire department to slide down :) second would be a harsh immigration policy.
Left my ivory tower, and think I left the oven on (heated via ivory), yeah everyone is doing it tough, poor people and normal people ✊🏻
Couple of boys on the wrong side of the tracks made me do the cinnamon challenge and sack wacked me at the precise moment I took the spoon to my lips, nothing but respect for their timing and persuasive language
Ironically the name ‘sunk cost fallacy’ is also a sunk cost fallacy, should have been called ‘suck cock phallically’
The 7 deadly sins, the Jackson five, three musketeers and a partridge in a pear tree, yep…it’s a boys weekend