phillip

it's crazy how i was the most digital person and now im going analog

i'm signing up to go back to hawaii

how generous to feed us

trains are still experiencing delays—currently standing at Monroe

whose dick do i need to suck

the american people did not win the grim reaper lottery

how is the @WhiteHouse this late… like THEY said 2pm, not us

lmao it's actually easier to use the @FoxNews app bc they can store my provider 💀😂

signing into the @CNN app on appletv is like completing open heart surgery -- you have to be extreme precise on getting to the gear icon to sign in 8x a day

humans are in their ad-era. when we evolve, i hope we pass a law to fully opt-out of forced ads and companies can only reply to direct inquiries. for example, if i post "what should i drink today?" then drink companies can reply to that post with all the marketing they want.

what a unique compliment 💀

watching new heights and i know the sourdough blogs are SPIRALING right now knowing Taylor Swift is reading their comments & blog

i swear our 911 go down more than i have ever thought they could this is extremely scary for residents of the coachella valley where people have socks older than me @MyDesert where are your journalists doing root cause stories???? it's like every month - even in PS

come protect me then

if my top does not come with this energy, i will be submitting a bug ticket to product ASAP

bringing this to my twitter am i grateful i got to experience beyoncé in LA N2? yes. am i even blessed that momma tina came out? also yes. am i sad i missed destiny's child? YOU FUCKING BET so act iii, you'll see me in paris, atl, and vegas