I am not interested in selling my handle.
Calgary, Alberta
Joined March 2008
- Tweets178
- Following11
- Followers384
- Likes18
And the walls kept tumbling down
In the city that we love
Grey clouds roll over the hills
Bringing darkness from above instagram.com/p/B91-ojtAiLo/…
I am not a shopping mall. retweeted
IT IS PAST OUR BEDTIMES AND WE ALL HAVE TO PEE. @amazon will you prime deliver some lady urinal devices to us??? #highwayhostage
FIVE HOURS on the Hwy1 parking lot. Who else is a #highwayhostage???? My mental health cannot handle the idea of having to pee on the side of the road.
Cochrane RCMP advise motorists travel not recommended on Hwy1 btwn Kananaskis & Calgary, roadways are partly covered snow, slushy, snowing, icy sections, with limited visibility. Drive to condition. (12:06am) #ABRoads #BanffNP #yyctraffic
SNOW PANTS FOR DOGS.
This answers how dogs would wear pants... but I still feel that if dogs wore pants, they would wear them the other way (around the hips)
Do you guys even realize how difficult it was to explain that last sentence????
amazon.ca/dp/B07KT1CMQJ/ref=…
I am not a shopping mall. retweeted
"Also, you are not responsible for how anyone feels or reacts when you have done the right thing and are acting in kindness. The pain is on their shoulders."
I am not a shopping mall. retweeted
“some people have it worse” is bullshit.
don’t invalidate your trauma by comparing it to the experiences of others.
suffering is not a competition.
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"You can't mix papyrus and comic sans, Karen."
Oh, your new best mom friend will be the kid that your child plays with the most. Look forward to it. It's a mystery prize!
A big ol kinder surprise of anxiety.
A mom's popularity is directly related to their child's popularity at school. If they make a lot of friends, you inherit mom friends.
This is not by choice.
My inner introvert is crippled with anxiety. Why didn't I realize this before I had 3 kids???
PARENT HACK: Make a copy of your spouse's contact in your phone and name it SANTA. Watch the fear in their eyes when you whip out your phone to text Santa when they start acting up 😂😱😱😱😂 #parenthack #drunkwithpower #notjustforchristmas #SantaSpouse
*watching a show
H: Oh! He got hit in the head with a hammer!
Me: a what???!
H: a hammer
Me: do you it was one of those lug nut bot things? *as I mime the incorrect action anyways 🤷♀️
H:
H: HAMMER.
H: do you know what that is?? *points to TV
Me: a hammer..... oh! Lol 😂
H:
The best part about teaching your kids how to cook is when you crack an egg, and throw it into the sink and the shell into the bowl.
Then they make fun of you.
And then you do it again 🤦♀️
Brain: No. You are getting your throat checked out on Nov 1st. There's already an appointment. At a hospital. This is for real. So don't. Google. Anything.
Me: