New column lol

Of course I recognize one of the stunt queens from the Lindsey Graham doc

I tell someone I’m half-serious about starting a podcast and they’ll ask “what’s the premise?” and I say “idk gay guys living in nyc” and they’re like “…that’s it?” and I respond “yeah sorry it’s not a lavalier mic game show or whatever” and then they stop talking to me

Sometimes a straight man needs to wear a skirt just to feel something

Your husband tweeting under your name while you're in jail and replying "fuck you" to people is what true love looks like tbh

Hotel room is overlooking the Backrooms and a murder of crows 😍

You Can See Everything should have been about Jen Shah

huh?

Lady at the front desk of my hotel in Portland telling me her name is “Soup” just healed me

Attending a cousin’s normie wedding can be such a clarifying experience

re The Devils: designing a nunnery like a white-tiled public restroom is so genius

The Devils restoration surly twink vs You Can See Everything affable straggot

Two types of gay guy artists: horny dandies who make secretly conservative art, and self-lacerating celibates who make secretly progressive art.

We should speedrun Woke 1.0 every autumn

There are moms on reels filming their autistic sons as if they’re their French bulldogs

You speak ill of ketamine on here and people start quote tweeting you with “oh no tweaker baby you can’t be talking like that…”

The city songstress, disguised as a beggar, had traveled far to buy the clockwork bird. But the curiosity shopkeeper looked her up and down, and told the chanteuse that his avian automaton was certainly not for sale. "Perhaps madam would prefer something more... comparable?"

An atheist should not be adapting The Chronicles of Narnia no shade

At age 7, I dreamed I had a best friend who looked just like this guy and when I woke up I started crying and my mom asked me what’s wrong and I replied “I was dreaming of a new friend and now he’s gone” and she gave me this pained look, like she was so sad and embarrassed for me

Troye Sivan song titles be like “PnP (pain & pleasure)” and “Feels Like Silk”