mystery & dopeness
Birmingham, AL
Joined April 2017
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i keep having this reoccurring thought that it would be hilarious if i ended up living in Miami somehow given i鈥檝e been a resident of each of the HD GTA games inspirations so far in order
so it turns out that i'm pretty good at this. i woke up wanting to unpause my Math Academy subscription and i'm feeling some capacity to do more of these to raise the money. $100 each for 60-90min. anyone interested in doing some sensemaking around their desires?
you can book and pay here if you'd prefer, otherwise just DM me or reply and i'll reach out blacktemple.dev/calls
a block i keep hitting working on games, is i hit a point where i'm like "is this really worth doing? do i really like games that much?" and i'm not sure i can say yes. but it also feels like i have to go through this to unlock further ideas or reach some sort of completion.
i'm consistently surprised at the wave of...idk, relief, relaxation, peace that hits me when i see the sunrise. i think i need to start watching the sunset too.
since early 2025 i've wanted to regain the ability to pass out. to be so sleepy that i cannot stay awake, and it's happening! i eventually pass out now when i take my 20min shavasana after lunch. i could NOT stay awake last night after 8:30. my nerves are healing 馃槶馃槶馃槶
i鈥檓 celebrating right now how i鈥檝e spontaneously started offering the extra food i cook to my parents and that they actually seem to be happy to be offered and enjoy it! i鈥檇 been wanting to do it but in the last week i suddenly just started doing it.
the strangest days are the ones where i get a lot of sleep. the things that i felt so desperate about, so driven to do, just fall away. pleasure ripples through my midsection and my legs and shoulders and sides and into my head. reminding me how mutable my self is.
something i'm being forced to learn the past couple of years is how to take a break. often i want to just hammer away at a project or a pursuit, and i have to stop and notice when it's become a should, then take some space, and pray and hope that the desire will come back.