I came face-to-face with a real American detective today.

🫈 Finally.

Is it later yet?

Been doing some serious introspection, cuz “know thine enemy” and all that.

She puts the cute in elocute.

In Canada it’s spelled Horrour.

Jack-o’-Lanterns are inherently cowards on account of being gutless.

Facing the existential crisis known as commuting.

Look at the Universe “God” created versus the world that men created. “God” is not a man.

I hope it’s sunny today, I need to sneeze.

Rest assured, when I scream in bed it’s because of a night terror.

Well… I guess that wasn’t just the quick, under-the-table job on a tugboat I thought it was.

Permit the Frog, his by-law enforcing cousin.

Sasquatches were built for the friend-zone.

Losing My Religion, but replacing “religion” with “inhibitions.” You’ll thank me later.

That’s a “Big-Ears Teddy” kind of red flag.

Chocolate advent calendars? In this economy?

The real tragedy is that I have no cheese.

Stuck my tongue out at a road rager and all he could do was look surprised.

Someday.

Bitch.