Sean Craddock

Two votes made for Switzerland, one for Croatia, one for Lithuania- and an appreciative nod to Spain, but you’re not in my bets so sod ya. #esc2024

We survived. Well done everyone. Now for numberwang. #esc2024

I’m pretty sure this is the chord progression to Rhythm is a Dancer, and even with such solid foundations it’s still a crock of shite. #aut #esc2024

Can’t believe they took 24 songs to announce a ballad was coming, I’ve needed the loo for ages. #fra #esc2024

I hope Croatia’s attempts to make a song that sounds like all the leftfield winners of the past, all at once, are successful, cos I whacked a few bets on this nonsense without even hearing it. #esc2024

I quite like this, it’s catchy, upbeat and daft. How dare them. #esc2024 #sui

I wasn’t aware my dog had entered into Eurovision #esc2024 Go Neemz.

Sheinkira. #cyp #esc2024

I didn’t even notice Portugal, and from what I can tell #arm didn’t actually sing anything other than noises. Nearly done though, hurrahhhh. #esc2024

Well this is why we watch this shit isn’t it? Bravo for your batshit dreadful ridiculousness. MAKE SOME NOISE FOR HIS JORTS. #fin #esc2024

Is she meant to be a siren on a rock or something? I’m pretty sure they were meant to enchant people to their deaths, not bore them. #srb #esc2024

Angelina Mango is an anagram of ‘analing a gnome’ and that’s about the best thing about that song. #esc2024 #ita

This band were formed 20 years ago, and it appears they tapped into the zeitgeist right away. Then stayed there. Ehhhh. #nor #ESC2024

This is like if Liz Lemon got a proper cut away song instead of Jenna. #ESC2024

Bag o’ wank that one. #GRC #ESC2024

Serving TikTok Goth. #ire #ESC2024

I wasn’t going to tweet #ESC2024 this year but I can’t get over how #est just looked like someone repeatedly chopped and changed the Hairy Bikers to make a band.