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God DAMN do I love a night of hope scrolling. First signs of hope in years 💙🩵

Go vote today, fuckers.

Breakdown of windshield wiper fluid usage: 1% - Wiping dem windshields 99% - Spraying the pussyfoot loser who is tailgating me so close, I can smell his crusty tuna breath, when I CANT switch lanes or there’s a car in front of me. 👿

Another week sitting like a shrimp at a desk. What a lifeeeeeee

Working an office job sucks the life outta me. I wish I would have just been a flight attendant or something. Or won the lottery. Or had generational wealth. Fuccccccck

Why do I have to go through the 7 layers of Hell just to turn on the flash on my iPhone camera?!

Grilling holiday reminder that potatoes SHOULDDDD be included with your meats and veggies. Grilled/Smoked potatoes are eliteeee🐐🐐🐐

I’m missing out on a @Neopets booth at Pax West. Because I’m stuck at Sad East. 😔😔

I yearn for the day when the workforce consists of 99% Millennials and Gen Zs. 😭😭😭

I would like to go to Portugal when they have the lil festival where people in the streets bonk each other on the head with squeaky toy hammers.

Been getting BOMBARDED with ads about the drink Sprite. And I’m like 9999.9999% sure it’s because the group chats have been talking about the cutieeee Sprites in Fortnite, but my assigned FBI agent only sees the keyword “sprite”. What a LOOOOOOSER.

Feeling weird. 🙂

I’m grateful that I live in a time where I can just order a car on the internet. But I still don’t know what to order 😡😡😡😡

Diabolical to be the ONLY one in the office on the Monday after a long weekend andddd to have a meeting at 7am?! GTFOH 😤😤😤

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