a few years ago i was at a "business" party my dad was organizing, and my dad introduces me to one of his friends and then disappears. the guy starts talking about his photography, and how he needs a new model, because his last model is the daughter of a friend of his who moved to London, and his ex wife burnt a big portion of his negatives, so now he really needs to reshoot a lot, and then he's going to publish it, and if I really want to, he can get this book of his to be promoted in vogue, so technically I could be in vogue too. of course, there would be some nudity, you know, some play of light and shadows, but he could already tell i have what it takes to get this sensuality across and that i surely would feel comfortable in this position. wow. ok. I was immediately freaked the fuck out and WHY did my DAD introduce me to this guy?!?!? let's brush past that. anyways, I got home and looked this guy up, I couldn't find any of his work (lol) but I did find his pinterest boards and they were ALL bad taste pinup and boudoir photography of hot women. I understand i activate something in old guys but this was a bit much even for me

I just wanna post mildly outrageous stuff, like the pictures of me crying in my work bathroom because I was super heartbroken and coming to terms with the fact that things wouldn't work out with someone who clearly wasn't a good match for me, but I so desperately wanted to be loved and needed that I almost convinced myself it would indeed work, but deep down I knew this wasn't true and the whole endeavor was causing me great pain and suffering and I enjoyed it a lot and often quite miss it