I write and occasionally doctor. Powered by caffeine and Simpsons GIFs. Personal opinions, blah blah blah.

England, United Kingdom
Joined March 2011
Hey everyone, haven't been here a while but am still alive. Just not using X anymore. If anyone wants to find me, hit me up on Instagram or Bluesky. Big love ❤️
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Simon Laurence Doyle retweeted
I've now got a website! I'm trying to build up a following of subscribers, I blog fairly regularly about films and stuff, post short stories, and have a monthly newsletter! jonathantedman.co.uk Send me any links to your websites too! #WritingCommunity #Writing
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Is controlling the game a thing of the now very distant past? Because every manager post SAF has been content to defend a lead rather than go for the jugular... and it never ends well. #MUFC
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Anyone ever stand in the kitchen and feel really hot and wonder if they're coming down with a virus of some kind and then realise they're actually just stood beside the hob that's on and their onions are burning?
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Love coming to TV shows late, but bloody hell, 'Beef was a bit good...
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Simon Laurence Doyle retweeted
The (long awaited) trailer for The Cuckoo Clock - written & directed by me, produced by @erichcannon and @kimhornsby Showing soon! 💜 THE CUCKOO CLOCK OFFICIAL FULL-LENGTH THEATRICAL TRAILER youtu.be/73RaqPCBcLc?is=vUa7… via @YouTube
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Hell. Yes.
Compassionate Disaster Films is thrilled to finally release the ALL-NEW THEATRICAL TRAILER PREMIERE OF THE CUCKOO CLOCK from writer / director @JLisaJay !!! Produced by myself and @kimhornsby we're so excited to bring this to the big screen this October. PLEASE SHARE!
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Holiday in Wales. May have been raining, but the girls still wanted to paddle ❤️
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39 today. Elle and the girls made me a cake. Offscreen - Dorothy directing my attention to the cake. Or the sunflowers, who knows?
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Did we just practice being crap in pre-season? #MUFC
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In my entire time playing video games, I've had no greater disappointment than the last 1/3 of Dark Souls. Going from, for e.g., Darkroot Gardens to Lost Izalith is the biggest drop in quality I've ever seen in a game. Astounding to embarrassing #darksouls
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My 6 year old is trying to perfect handsprings. Anyone have any advice aside from keep trying and make sure you have something padded to fall on?! 😂
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No advancement for me, but congratulations on all the talented writers moving on @montyrockhead @obryantcj @merewalton and I'm sure many more I missed on first pass! 🍻
The list of 2026 PAGE Award Semi-Finalists is now online! pageawards.com/past-winners/…
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Bastard slugs killed one of my tomato plants 😔
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Gervais just seems to be angry about how 'the Woke' like decent humour in their comedy shows
'Alley Cats is the televisual equivalent of a black hole of bad ideas that sucks happiness out of a room, leaving only the howling void of boredom and misery in the space that enjoyment once occupied': trib.al/nR0OZ8R
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So first episode of new Ted Lasso seems fun. Apparently critics don't like it. 🤷‍♂️
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Just so everyone knows, vetinarians are apparently medical doctors now. I love Twitter ❤️
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All elections should be on a weekend
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Simon Laurence Doyle retweeted
🚨 Senne Lammens on why he reported back to Carrington early: “The club told me to switch off a bit after the World Cup. I lasted about 4 days., I rang the manager and asked if I could come back early. He laughed and said, ‘Senne… I know you’re hurting after the World Cup, but football will still be here. Go and clear your head.’ I tried. Three dayss later I called him again. He just sighed. ‘Senne… that’s not how holidays work. You’re either desperate to train… or desperate to annoy me.’ I said, ‘Hopefully both.’ He started laughing. ‘Fine… come in on Friday before you call me again tomorrow.’ That’s how my holiday ended before the expected date.”
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Because he was literally just one formation and vibes. Man cleared house well, but was otherwise just not up to the task.
🚨🗣️ 𝗡𝗘𝗪: Ruben Amorim responds to why he wears a suit at AC Milan, while wearing a hoodie at Manchester United. "Milan is the city of fashion. I have been told it's different here and you have to present yourself differently."
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