Co-founder of @letsmaybeapp, @stampnik, and @friendfit. Formerly at @wepay, @loopt

Joined February 2012
So many of @sfgiants players are either injured or traded away this season that it’s hard to jump into a radio broadcast and know which team is batting!
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Just spent the better part of the day watching Avatar 3. Can’t wait for the next one! Here’s an idea for @JimCameron ?
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Ted Lasso season 4 idea: An English football manager comes over to lead the White Sox after a historically terrible season
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Nobody: Men’s swim trunk designers:
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We need a Google Maps option to filter out reviews made by British tourists. These wankers give 5 stars to pretty much every tourist-trap restaurant and skew all results towards expensive mediocrity!
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Recently learned that fig trees — which I always enjoyed seeing in random places — are viewed as a kind of curse in Turkey. The Turkish phrase “Ocağıma incir ağacı diktin” roughly translates to .. (1/2)
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“You planted a fig tree in my hearth”. Fast-growing, hearty, and planted by birds in nooks & crevices, their roots cause cracks in masonry as they grow. Also, they’re notoriously hard to kill. Thus, to plant a fig tree in one’s garden is to sow the seeds of one’s destruction.
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Happy May the fourth
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Now that Yellow Pages & printed phone directories are obsolete, I guess there’s no more incentive to name your business AAAAAA Locksmith or AAAAA Plumbing?
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This is how I imagine @AJamesMcCarthy reacts every time he goes out to take another amazing shot of the moon
The moon! 🌕 Get a load of this sweet little one’s excitement as she spots the full moon while out on a walk with Mom. As a parent you might have heard tales about how the full moon influences children’s behavior - and I’ve known teachers who swear that it’s true - but the literature, including an international study of nearly 6,000 children conducted by the Eastern Ontario Research Institute, simply doesn’t bear this out. Indeed, researchers identified only one behavior that was even slightly modified by the full moon: Participants slept five fewer minutes on nights when the moon was full. Yawn. As Adam and Jamie used to say: Myth Busted. What say you? Have you noticed changes in your child’s moods/behaviors - or your own - during the full moon? This sweet little lunar enthusiast was shared by _Tabitha Parker on IG.
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In the midst of a long layover at YYZ, one starts to contemplate a maple syrup purchase
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. @StubHub has a major bug with a "Sign in with Apple" private email. After a purchase, the seller can't send you the tix! Doesn't help that you're in rush due to their countdown timer. A CS rep said it's a common issue & wished they got rid of the feature altogether #pleasefix
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It's crazy how good Dalle has gotten in the past year. Here's “Photo of a sad banana playing an old guitar” a year ago: today:
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My wife: “You need to eat less bread” Also my wife:
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To be fair, this bread does look absolutely incredible!
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Just unlocked a new circle of hell and it’s trying to gain access to my own @CashApp account
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Was helping 4th graders with math today and they all came to me asking “What’s an mp3 player?” So I asked them to sit around the campfire and started telling them about Napster, the Metallica lawsuit, Winamp, Kazaa, the Rio, the iPod, … Then they asked if inches would work
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Been struggling with a slow MacBook for months (slow to unlock, random reboots) and turns out it’s just too many open tabs on Google Chrome this whole time
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My favorite part of swim trunks is the sandpaper speedo they’ve sewn inside
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Lobster font is the new Comic Sans #lobsterfont
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