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Stewnami

@stewnami

Problem solver. Idiot. Podcaster @Salty_Language / @thecrazylifepod / https://teapaw.org/t.co/jJIc4hX0ko

 Michigan
saltylanguage.com/
Joined February 2009
  • Tweets91.2K
  • Following5.2K
  • Followers4.8K
1.8KMedia
Photo by Stewnami (@stewnami)Photo by Stewnami (@stewnami)Photo by Stewnami (@stewnami)Photo by Stewnami (@stewnami)Photo by Stewnami (@stewnami)Photo by Stewnami (@stewnami)Photo by Stewnami (@stewnami)Photo by Stewnami (@stewnami)Photo by Stewnami (@stewnami)Photo by Stewnami (@stewnami)
I like a woman that makes me feel alive, but also lets me know that it might not be for long.
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I think more adults should have crushes. On people, on places, on ideas, on versions of their lives they haven't lived yet. Give yourself something to get a little irrationally excited about. Anticipation is one of life's great pleasures.
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Like the scene in Forrest Gump with shrimp but it's different ways to eat a bag of dicks. Dick scampi, dick stew, grilled dick, BBQ dick, dick salad, dick on the cob.
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Maybe you could love me back to life.
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Welcome to November: it’s midnight all the time.
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Image from J🍩ey Bag 🍩f D🍩nuts 🍩 (@joeybagovdonuts)
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Filled my freezer with daylight for emergencies.
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Stewnami retweeted
maya (@mayaviatwitta) profile picture
maya@mayaviatwitta16h
2 perfectionists telling each other “not exactlyyyyy”
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Wife [holding a cast iron pan]: I don’t understand how they say people can be killed by getting hit with a cast iron pan. I can barely swing this thing. Me: Wife: Me: Why are you thinking about this.
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I slept with a chocolate bar last night. So yes, you could say I'm adventurous in bed
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Twitter is just one long ignored montage for stranger danger
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Stewnami retweeted
🍂 (@Lovandfear) profile picture
🍂
@LovandfearNov 1
I'm so full of love
Image from 🍂 (@Lovandfear)
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A guy hugged me yesterday. It took all my strength not to start belting him with my handbag, grandma style. So yeah, I'm a people person
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Crush from afar ——-> crushed from afar
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Stewnami retweeted
Sabrina (@neu_rot_ic) profile picture
Sabrina
@neu_rot_ic7h
"Are you ok?" "Are you mad?" NO STOP REMINDING ME THAT MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS ARE ABNORMAL
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Stewnami retweeted
okay (@chasedbywasps) profile picture
okay@chasedbywaspsNov 1
ur in her DMs. I've fallen between the aisles at Dollar General. I need help
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I just want to be the one for someone
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I bet Cookie Monster sees your areolae and goes crazy
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*Courtney Love voice* Oh make me Grover
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Stewnami retweeted
Sabrina (@neu_rot_ic) profile picture
Sabrina
@neu_rot_icNov 1
doommaaxxing by doomscrolling while doomwatching netflix while doomsnacking while doomthinking am i doomed
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BEING A MICROWAVE POPCORN KERNEL WOULD BE SCARY AS FUCK CAUSE UR JUST HANGIN WITH UR FRIENDS THEN THEY START POPPING WHO’S GONNA BE NEXT
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