Steven Webb

These are my awards mother, from army.

Enjoying Sky's coverage of filming individual players or managers while the game is on. Love watching Evans or Quigley while football is happening #gtfc

Furious is dreadful.

My mate and his buddy were about to pilot the Apollo mission to the moon. A guy next to them with his date said "if I fly this rocket will you date me?" She said yes. My mate and his buddy deliberately TANKED the launch codes so this made up person could go to space. Bro code.

I've seen horrendous things on this platform over the years. The blue tick accounts that give fantasy football tips though might be the nail in the coffin for me. And by 'nail' I mean bullet. And by 'coffin' I mean my own skull. And by 'for me' I mean I'm gonna f*kin shoot myse

This is quite funny

And if a double decker bus, crashes into us

And the craziest part?

All timer. No notes.

Micah Richards analysing the Bosnian goal against Canada with the same amount of energy you'd expect to see given to a World Cup final winner. Long old summer Micah. And its.. y'know.. Canada vs Bosnia.

Blue Lights is some of the best tele I've ever watched in my entire life. Go put it on.

These blue tick cunts have an anecdote for every situation don't they

Between Nancy and Jonathan nearly drowning in the cum room, the constant need for people to explain what's happening in large groups so everyone gets it & the loss of any tiny bit of charm the show had, I think Stranger Things might have had a worse fall off than Game of Thrones

No mum, I'm sound watching this Torvill and Dean documentary with you

I've never had more fun playing a game. Thank Goodness You're Here, thank you. @coalsupper

These Knives Out films are complete shite

This app is mad. I either get videos of men putting flags up outside pensioners houses, 5000-word long inspirational speeches from African blue-tick accounts that go absolutely nowhere, or - more recently - Ja Rule calling 50 Cent a cunt. What does it all MEAN?!

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS I WANT YOU TO SHOW ME

I hope everyone who is involved in Married At First Sight dies a horrible, painful, slow death.