bitly.xaijo.com/julianne Didn't support the troops, saw a bumper sticker, now do.
Yo mommas so fat. She stood on the scales and the number displayed was above average. shorturl.xaijo.com/brian
Cop: Whatever you say will be held against you. Me: TEDDYBEARS Cop: Aww. bitly.xaijo.com/MjrPNn
You know when doctors leave the room they are just checking Web MD right? bitly.xaijo.com/cheri
Frogs always look like they just found out there's no free Wi-Fi. shorturl.xaijo.com/rick
I would watch NASCAR if the drivers had had as much to drink as the fans. bitly.xaijo.com/oallrF
"Don't even talk to me until I've Instagrammed my coffee." - Portland, Oregon bitly.xaijo.com/JgbcK
bitly.xaijo.com/MjrPNn "I got hoes in different area codes." - World's most disorganized landscaper.
My favourite Celine Dion song is the one where it's muted all the way through. bitly.xaijo.com/teJCjh
Only use "extra virgin" to describe olive oil that doesn't even think about fucking. bitly.xaijo.com/JgbcK