scumbag baby

i was a drunk cig and he wanted a line

threats i give to my bf when he doesn’t give me attention (see his response, he thinks i’m kidding)

light of my life

watch out america, we’re not snipping infants foreskins anymore, we’re piercing them

i once dated a guy who’s ex girlfriend died and i don’t think i appreciated it enough at the time

saturday’s a full moon. i can’t wait to sacrifice him in front of his friends

the reason boys look so cute when they’re sleeping is bc it’s the only time they’re not lying

when you ask him to post you on his story

wwjd (what would jimothy do)

mama needs a bag (of diarrhea lettuce)

date idea: we see how many four loko golds we can drink before we start speaking spanish

me tryna hit: no babe big lebowski is like the best movie of all time

fix my ceiling fan and then you can do a line off my butt

backrooms was just about how male loneliness ruins women

i can’t believe he’s not butter

boobs small bc my heart is also small

he’s from texas i can tell by the way he can’t read

putting myself in time out bc i asked a man to spit beer in my mouth last night

don’t tell me you have a crush on me i will tease tf out of you

recent guilty pleasure of kissing short kings on the forehead