Tom (@tdawks) header
Tom (@tdawks) profile picture

Hacksaw Jim Duggan once pretended to strangle me.

Joined April 2009
Photo by Tom (@tdawks)Photo by Tom (@tdawks)Photo by Tom (@tdawks)Photo by Tom (@tdawks)Photo by Tom (@tdawks)Photo by Tom (@tdawks)Photo by Tom (@tdawks)Photo by Tom (@tdawks)Photo by Tom (@tdawks)Photo by Tom (@tdawks)
They used to have a transfer window in American football too, but they closed it because of the draft.
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Just voted. Turnout low and polling station staffed entirely by bewildered primary school children. Make of that what you will.
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My Etsy shop's now open with my jewellery collection: intricate casts of real flowers & nature finds & tiny wearable sculptures of British birds handmade by me in recycled silver. LIMITED spaces in my order book-once it's full I'll close my shop again: etsy.com/uk/shop/silverpebbl…
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Things are tough for small businesses at the moment and it’s really tough working out how to reach new customers. I would really appreciate it if you had a look at my gift shop (all original designs!) and gave this a like or RT. Thank you so much, pals. higglebees.etsy.com
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It’s out today! ‘Rewild’, by @mountainogre, illustrated by me. For ages 12+, but honestly I think this is a great book for all. We explain how we can help nature to help the planet, the importance of whale poo, beavers and how to encourage biodiversity in your own garden.
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Tom retweeted
🎶OO WAT FAAN IT OS TO RARD IN A ONE HOSE ORPHAN SLARGH🎶
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Tom retweeted
I always find Jingle Bells quite upsetting because it reminds me of the time my Uncle Billy tragically lost his willy on the motorway.
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Tom retweeted
🎶 Seven swans a-swimming, Six geese a-laying... 🎶
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A literal glow up for my Axolotl! Pre orders for the new lilac/glow in the dark version open now. doodlesbyben.com/shop/axolot…
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BREAKING NEWS: Police forget the word trousers.
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🎶 She wore an Itsy bitsy teeny weeny…
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HITMAN: Who's the target? ME: [slides photo across table] HITMAN: You..want me to kill Shrek? ME: Not Shrek [taps photo] his talkative horse
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Axolotl plushie! It’s squishy and smooshy and it can be yours now :-) etsy.com/listing/1418271650/…
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There's a good story behind this gaffer tape, I bet.
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Wondering what the new Double Sunlover Magnum is like? Luckily I've reviewed it for you. 👇 📷
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There are lots of cartoons on my website which I draw to order (they're not prints). Ideal gifts for you, your loved ones and your enemies alike. Have a little poke around, I'm open for business! worldofmoose.com/collections…
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TENNIS FACT: Tennis players are so superstitious that they only ever refer to Andy Murray as 'The Scottish Player.'
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Q is too high up in the alphabet. I respect it but it has no place between P and R. Should be at the end with the weirdo/goth letters
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Girl (dum dum dum dum) You'll be a
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