Mad Dog

Some people meditate.. I sit in silence and imagine elaborate vengeance scenarios

I feel like I'm one bad day away from blowing my lid and burning this mf down 😤

Faster, faster why did you slow down? Were you expecting another coward you could cut right down ?

Direct quote from 3 hours ago: "I'll just close my eyes for 15 minutes to rest." ​Current status: Woke up in the dark, phone at 12%, fully convinced I slept through a major historical event.

Everyone : Just be yourself Me : *Actually does* Everyone : No, no, not like that!

Must be my lucky day. Won my football pool at work. Won my parlay on the Bears game for a 4.3x Won a bet on one of those prediction markets for a 3.5x Perhaps I shall go to the Casino this week 🤔

“I only date people who match my energy” is usually code for “I need someone who will tolerate my bullshit without calling it out.” We know.

Every “just be yourself” advice post is written by someone who carefully curated the version of themselves they want you to see. The rest of us are just out here raw-dogging reality.

😂😂😂 it's funny because it's true...

To everyone I've offended this year.. Work on yourself so I don't have to do it again next year.