The One and Only Peter Falk

Met a guy in the shop today that grew up in Detroit hardcore. Casually mentioning Cold As Life shows and saw my Hatebreed rip and was like “oh I was at the album launch for that record, what’s it call? Satisfaction?” OKAY CUNT

I don’t need to know what colour red bull is. That’s not for me to know.

Last week I got a kebab on high st. I was gonna go to some pumping joint but across the road was an old bloke with no customers so I wanted to give him a go. Ordered a chicken with all salads, cheese and bbq sauce. He gave me a bread roll with chicken in it. Nothing else.

Living above a shop is so cute until you realise you’re not on a residential street and the council doesn’t give a fuck about doing loud roadworks outside your window all night

Me when I’m trying to unsubscribe from EatClub emails

Elly got me a pack of Arnott’s Family Favourites for Father’s Day and honestly she couldn’t have done better

I think it’s beautiful to walk through life with hate in your heart

Cunt doesn’t understand what land is

Kids these days don’t talk about trolley poling/getting trolley poled anymore.

Use this for a Wake In Fright game where you have to constantly drink beers in order to move and you’re trying to get to a train station but you keep getting pulled to gamble and shoot roos

I came from punk music, it’s where a lot of my tastes were formed but I never fully jived with it because the greater community seems to be totally fine with white guys having dreadlocks

Someone should tell the IOF these guys are a hospital

On this, my 39th birthday, I have been cursed by leftover Chinese food.

She’s coming for you @SenatorWong @AlboMP