Big Van

Stopped at @Moes_HQ on the way to Disney World to fuel the humans up with queso, purely because @JonAcuff talks about it so much.

I dated a Porsche once. Most expensive mistake ever.

@Sharonwaight play that funky music

Don't idle in a larger vehicles blind spot #ThursdayThoughts #SafetyFirst

Glamour shot #NewProfilePic

#SquirrelAppreciationDay Ok, well I'd appreciate if you wouldn't run out into the street, squirrels. #Lookbothwaysfirst #thisbetterbuffout

I see people passing me on the road. I give a friendly wave, say "Honk" and they flip me off?

An old friend bumped into me at the grocery store. So much for that friendship.

I'm going to get a "How's my driving?" sticker that calls the rejection hotline.

Confucius says: Man who run behind car will get exhausted but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

@GetCadillacApp so what is this, a dating app?

That Escalade'd quickly.

Starting at 50k miles I'm going to get my tail pipe checked regularly.

Sorry @TeslaMotors, I think we can all agree. A car that can tweet it's self is much cooler than one that can "Drive it's self".

Ok folks, here's the basics. "Honk" means hi, "Hoonk" means look out!, and "Hooonk"... well that's just rude.

A fender bender is the equivalent of a fist bump.

Me and the guys are about to go out and play a round of car pool.

Every Saturday we like to go out for donuts... In someone's front yard. #saturdaymorning

Best pick up line ever

Don't worry buddy, the junk yard isn't that bad. #WhatIWouldTellA15YearOldMe