D_Ski (@therealdski) profile picture

Midnight scientist

Texas
Joined January 2019
Photo by D_Ski (@therealdski)Photo by D_Ski (@therealdski)Photo by D_Ski (@therealdski)Photo by D_Ski (@therealdski)
You think dude astronauts have figured out a way to harness the vacuum of space to get off yet? Like a little cosmic hot pocket to jettison some ropes into orbit. That'll eventually make up a ring of freeze-dried fuck juice that watches over all of us.
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How did we collectively become okay with calling the navel a "belly button" but totally missed the mark not calling the butt hole a "smelly button"
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@tomsegura @ChristinaP What if it's a running prank to just nut into the empty juice bags they use for water and wait for an unsuspecting victim?
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If I were a superhero, I'd be the Incredible Hork. The more sad I am, the hornier I become. That's my secret, captain. I'm always sad.
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I got my PhD in creampie studies at clown college.
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This could be us, but you keep starting a goalie.
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If a werewolf is activated by a full moon, then we're talking about a (usually) once a month occurrence. Doe that sync up with menstruation? Or is the werewolf form when they're the most fertile? Like ready for hardcore wolfie-style? Aggressive and breedable.
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Why hasn't anyone given pimps a bad rating with the Better Business Bureau?
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This year let's not do dinner, let's just give each other what we really want. You can be my dirty bird, I can fill you with my stuffing and smother you in my cramberry sauce.
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I thought a #yellowstone was when you hadn't nutted in so long that when you finally do, these little dried out dumplings shoot out like bb's. Basically December 1 for zoomers.
If you flick a Halloween clown in the crotch, does it honk?
Every year I dress up as a cow for Halloween. But ever since last year's debacle, no one at parties tries to milk me anymore.
With moisture farming being big business on Tatooine, do you think liquid was a kink? Are watersports the #1 porn term? Does anyone bother to argue if squirt is pee? Or is it more like a seasonal MtDew flavor for the craft-squirt connoisseur?
I suffer from post traumatic horny disorder. My PTHD keeps me from going to friends Halloween parties because of all the triggers. Like the Mike Meyers jumpsuit with underboob & cutoffs.
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If I could suck my own dick, I wouldn't be an extrovert.
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Does jizz have an NFPA diamond? Because a well placed tattoo would let people know the responsible way to handle and dispose of a nut so it doesn't ruin lives by creating them.
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Hungry Hungry Hippos but you gobble up plastic sperm with a uterus. Slap the colored fallopian tubes faster than your friends. Peckish Peckish Pussies
Anyone you meet can be a pain in your ass, its the special people in your life that sooth it
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Legend has it, if you swallow a condom filled with cocaine and bubble gum, it'll take 7-to-life to digest.
Butt stuff has become so normalized it's now time for a rebranding to give it some new allure. Let's call it Sliding in the BMs.
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Why can't I wear you like a power glove to play on my PC? I thought you were a gamer.