no I can't "just eat", not when restricting for me means I'm more productive, more confident, more outgoing, and just over all more willing to do things I could/would never do at a heavier weight due to feeling disgusting. how can I stop when I associate restricting with success?
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anyone else's self-care go totally out the window when you gain weight and/or in a binge cycle or is it just me? Hate myself 😅
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Tbh I really do miss the honeymoon phase of my ED when losing weight was easy, fast, and didn't seem like this disorder would have any negative effects or take away my chance to enjoy my teenage years. It's almost funny to me now how naive I used to be lol I had no fucking idea.
13
I drink 3 coffees and 2-3 energy drinks a day and it still barely gets me feeling alive but if I go without I feel shittyyyyy
why do I always forget that too much caffeine on an empty stomach feels so bad ugh I feel like im gonna puke/faint 😒
I actually can't handle sitting down without a jacket/bag/sweater/something on my lap so I don't have to see my fat thighs. And I ALWAYS sleep with a pillow between my knees so I don't have to feel my legs against each other
I just want to forget I have a body until I'm thin tbh
5
♡vile♡ retweeted
every. single. moment. is ruined by my fat disgusting body and i hate it so much
it's not even just the obvious stuff like being unable to wear clothes i want. no, even something as basic as walking down the street becomes depressing when i remember that i'm in this hideous body
YO I JUST FOUND/BOUGHT BUTTER TART HALO TOP
So fkn excited to try it later tonight omggg I love butter tarts so much and ate them a lot as a kid so fingers crossed I like them as a (low kcal) icecream flavour 😂
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