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hey what’s up i’m n! 29 years old, he/him, from texas and now live in germany. this is an account where i talk about my experiences with ARFID, feel free to unfollow if that’s triggering for you. filter out “urine bm” if you don’t want to see posts about bodily functions
therapist seems pretty convinced i have c-ptsd which isn’t exactly a shocker but linked some traumatic stuff to how i respond to situations now and i’m like. how the fuck did you figure that out. i didn’t figure that out and that’s me. how do i stop now
“you feel guilty for interacting with people because your literal first memory as a toddler was being forced to console your mother while she was being screamed at by the man that later abused you” ok cool how do i stop feeling that though
n 4 days to IP!!!! retweeted
reminds me of this post
one of the most fascinating ideas I've encountered recently is Chiastic Time
life isn't a story unfolding from beginning to end, but a pattern unfolding around a sacred center
mainly operating through coincidence and synchronicity, events separated by years reveal themselves as parts of a larger mandalic-like pattern
theres like a million ways i could reply to this but i think im gonna leave it at "get your eyes checked, develop better standards, and if anyone my age ever actually agrees to that you need to shoot them with a gun"
honestly I've thought about it before but I'm not sure how useful/interesting it would be? it's a lot of bullshit and junk. if i did i probably wouldn't post live updates throughout the day because if im having a bad day with food (or just plain forget to update the thread tbh) i don't want someone to look at my diet and be like ah yes if i want to be his size i need to eat like him. way less worried about that now at a normal weight but still like. slightly worried about the educational vs harm reduction aspect of it
n 4 days to IP!!!! retweeted
If you're trying to build a wardrobe on a budget, you will have an easier time if you adopt certain aesthetics. If you're trying to dress like the King of Spain or Colman Domingo, you will have a hard time unless you're willing to spend a certain amount of money. On the other hand, if you take your inspiration from blue-collar styles, it will be much easier.
The challenge is to learn how to style things and look past online product photos. Companies like Dickies and Carhartt don't style their items for the fashion market, so their images are very straightforward and thus not very inspiring. But that doesn't mean you can't wear them in stylish ways. Let me give you some examples:
— Wrangler 13MWZ Cowboy Cut jeans. $60 retail; easy to find on sale for about $40. These are made from a hefty 14.5 oz pure cotton.
— Carhartt B01 double-knee pants. $65 retail; easy to find on sale for about $40. These are again made from a hefty pure cotton.
— Wrangler denim Western shirt. $40 retail; easy to find on sale for about $30. The one pictured here is the "Lake Wash." Go for the pure cotton version; avoid the synthetic blends.
— Alpha Industries M65 field jacket. $225 retail; you can get it for about $150 on sale. If you're willing to shop second-hand, you can get either original military field jackets or the Alpha Industries version for about $100. This video is from the Instagram account decblane (outfit looks great).
For someone on a budget, this type of wardrobe has three advantages.
First, the clothes are relatively affordable.
Second, they only get better with age. If you buy clothes meant to make you look rich, you may be disappointed when they snag, tear, or stain. Not with these items — in fact, they only look better with wear and tear. These pure cotton fabrics will also be easier to repair than their stretch-cotton counterparts.
Third, you can throw them in the wash. Fancier clothes occasionally need hand washing or dry cleaning. The low-maintenance nature of this type of wardrobe suits someone with more limited financial means.
If these specific items don't appeal to you, look to history. Scroll through images of 20th-century cultures — blue-collar workers, countercultural groups, artists, musicians, and such. Get inspiration from how people with limited means dressed in the past.
In my opinion, this is much better than looking at a fancy, expensive outfit and trying to find budget versions. Those types of outfits often involve compromises. These are the real ingredients of stylish outfits from the past, not cheap imitations of expensive clothes.
the idea that thers a hierarchy of anorexia is so bizarre to me. like if you have a thin person vs a fat person the thin person can meet the criteria for anorexia after losing 20lb while the fat person can lose triple that and still be brushed off as still fat
the fat person that's dangerously quickly lost 60lb and still normal/overweight is going to be just as vulnerable to malnutrition, deficiencies, loss of muscle mass, electrolyte imbalance, and heart issues which is grim when being overweight already increased that risk on its own. don't even get me started on binging and purging but i dont think y'all are ready to talk about AN b/p if we can't grasp atypical AN yet
n 4 days to IP!!!! retweeted
my deepest darkest kinkiest most fucked up fantasy is that there’s a hospital with all the doctors I need in one spot and they all communicate and are truly invested in me and work together and figure it out and I get better. and its $35
hang on hard pivot on this post to “how do we get n’a big natural sponsored by a binder company”
Replying to @tobimisa1 @thintechgodhead
it was in reply to a convo that went "i wish binder models were more diverse" "i wish binder models passed" "passing trans men often don't need binders and I can't expect them to potentially out themselves"
I don't see what I did wrong other than calling binders "clocky".






























