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Happy #Tweetober. I am participating in a volume based, honor code bound tweeting competition across the month of October. My #twovel is original fiction in tweet sized chapters. Numbers at the beginning of tweets indicate it’s part of that story.
My neighbor told me not be rude when I asked her to stop randomly ringing my doorbell during the fucking photo shoot she was doing on our steps. I’m taking a sick day from work and trying to nap, I think it’s actually more rude to ring the bell than to ask someone to stop.
I’ve been watching so many movies at the movie theater that watching a movie on my projector at home feels impossible. I started that Margaret Qualley Amazon prime one and found it unwatchable
I was supposed to have such a big day but I’m sick so I’ve just been downing Gatorade and watching reels
My ig algorithm rn is such that every video is a woman being like “I’m nine months pregnant and I’m about to deadlift 250 pounds”
People are so scandalized by the lines it’s hilarious
When I moved here in 2013 the west village was for 90 year olds, celebrities, and fifth generation New Yorkers. It was super quiet and was the perfect place to get totally blazed and walk around alone feeling like you were in some gas lamp lit 1800s spooky New York. I’ll never forgive people for making it influencer line culture hell.
There’s a robot dog loose on 42nd street and it’s scaring some children. But I think some of their screaming is performative
Got interviewed by CNN about my list for Nathan Fielder. I hope he sees the article and I become his controversially young girlfriend
















