The same people telling to me to kill myself for what they view as irredeemably evil actions consistently celebrate the tragic death of a normal man and the ritual murder of the unborn. "None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one." -Romans 3:11-12 Every man is found guilty before God. It is man's nature, my nature, ever since the fall, to repeatedly stumble, trip, and fail to live up to God's perfect standard. Yet I, and these, still have hope. Thank God: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him." -John 3:16-17 Man can be redeemed. Jesus died the agonizing death that should have been for us, for me; even though we are evil. However, even the chains of death could not hold Him. He rose again three days later, so that any who call upon the name of the Lord would be saved. How unfair! Yet the apostle Paul warns of sin's continued influence: "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me." -Romans 7:18-20 Man's sinful nature still exists in our flesh, my flesh, and it will not be removed until the day of the resurrection when every person is given a perfect body. Until then, we must consistently rely on the Lord's mercy to redeem us day after day, month after month, and year after year. Paul the apostle explains: "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." -Ephesians 2:8-9 We are still wicked, failing in every way, but God has given us an indomitable gift: A redeeming faith, so that no one would be saved by his own works (for I am evil), but by the grace of God alone. Yet, even though we will inevitably fail, we should strive to behave as righteously as we can: "Afterward Jesus found him [The man he healed] in the temple and said to him, 'See, you are well! Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you.'" — John 5:13-14 We are called to turn from sin so that we might avoid its harm while we are still on this corrupted earth. In this regard, you say that I have failed. Yet I say: I fail Him far more every single day than even I realize. I have a bad temper, and I hold grudges that I should not. I am lazy, and people around me suffer for it. I have ego issues, and think more of myself than I should. However, God saved me regardless, and if He can save someone as fucked up as me? Think of what He can do for you. God bless you all.