Zero Said This

I’m a highly irritated person with a degree in fooling around.

There’s people who are 20 years old who’ve never seen I Know What You Did Last Summer. That blows my mind wide fuckin open. They don’t know what they’re missing.

You hate what I love. ...Just when it comes to our choices in fries.

Let’s watch The Lion King. I know you gotta wake up and work in the morning, but it’s worth it.

I want a t-shirt that says, “Never forget the horseshoe crab.” Seriously. Never forget the horseshoe crab.

Yes, tape! Tape’s the shit. You can do so much stuff with tape.

If my kids ever disappeared, I would cut my head off.

We gotta go to sleep, we’ve got a long day ahead of us. I just gotta watch Aladdin on my phone real quick.

Don't be scared. I know the sewers back and forwards.

I looked up 'what to do when your girlfriend likes Incubus' but I didn't find anything helpful.

Let's have coffee and watch The First Wives Club in the morning.

I mean, I wanna be eating ice cream, but I'm like, whatever, dude.

I almost snorted LaCroix out of my nose when you said puppetry.

It's the first toad of the spring!

More mystery equals more wonder and more coolness.

There should be a procedural drama investigation-type show called The Bird Man and it'll star Kiefer Sutherland.

I look like a goblin hick from 1886.

Everybody has their arc, ya know?

I need those tiny scissors because my nose hairs are gonna be around a lot longer than any electronic device.

It's the deadly duo: pineapple and corn. For your teeth.