I can run from parental responsibilities in less than 12 parsecs
free falling
Joined December 2015
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Bad Dad Han Solo retweeted
If you’re ever stuck waiting for a table at a restaurant just put your phone to your ear and say “get here right away. You won’t believe this but he’s here with another women!” and watch the tables free up.
Bad Dad Han Solo retweeted
She's a 10 but also an alcoholic so Idk whether to get her flowers or a bottle
Bad Dad Han Solo retweeted
Gonna pull a girl so far out of my league I’ll look like a make-a-wish kid who asked for pussy
Bad Dad Han Solo retweeted
Why do people always say “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” after a break up? I’m not trying to fuck a fish
Bad Dad Han Solo retweeted
The way I react to a friend asking me out for drinks is the same way my dog reacts when I ask him if he wants to go for a walk
Bad Dad Han Solo retweeted
When someone says "eww!! what is that smell?" but my 72hr deodorant still has 7 minutes left so I know it isn't me
Bad Dad Han Solo retweeted
Why does the new Harry Potter look like a lesbian cosplaying Harry Potter?
HBO's #HarryPotter series has debuted the first look at Dominic McLaughlin as the iconic boy wizard.
Filming is officially underway on the show, which will premiere in 2027 on HBO and HBO Max.
variety.com/2025/tv/global/h…
Vegas has sent a trade offer to Toronto for Morgan Rielly. They’re offering to trade Mitch Marner 1 for 1.
Sources have told me that Brady Tkachuk is not upset about Auston Matthews being named captain of team USA. He is apparently under the impression that his brother is the captain because he can't tell the difference between the letters C and A
Bad Dad Han Solo retweeted
If you are Canadian and need to borrow a small amount of money without interest or fees try Nyble. If you use my referral code you can also help me too! It’s safe and secure with no credit checks. nyble.com/lp/cover-1?referra…
Bad Dad Han Solo retweeted
Gas prices are like women in long term relationships. They only go down long enough to make you happy then they come right back up.
referrals.trybree.com/r6TT/o…
Sign up for Bree if you are Canadian and need extra cash for the holidays. You’ll get a welcome bonus with my link.