Working towards my goal.
Port harcourt
Joined January 2011
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Chris Priye retweeted
Before I got married, I asked my parents what actually makes a marriage last.
And the more pregnant I get, the more I realize just how critical the man you marry really is.
My parents have been married 50+ years.
Here's what they told me...
1. Make your own money. Marry someone funny.
My dad always said this. Life is hard. Really hard. My parents still make each other laugh 50+ years later. Find someone who can make you smile even when life isn’t giving you much to smile about.
2. But is he kind?
I’d tell my mom all the accolades of my potential gents. Successful, handsome, smart, ambitious. She’d only ever respond, “But is he kind to you?” Good reminder.
3. Find a man, not a boy.
My dad can hunt, cook, fix anything, ride horses, motorcycles, redo an engine and play dang near any sport. He always told me to look for a man, not a boy. Men do manly things.
4. Protectors before providers.
Success is great. Money is great. But when someone breaks into your house, does he stand in front of you or behind you?
5. Look at his circle.
His friends are a reflection of him. Maybe that’s why my husband’s friends would be some of my first calls in a moment of crisis.
6. Porching it.
My parents had this idea. Imagine the two of you decades from now, sitting on a porch. No phones. No entertainment but each other’s conversation. Are you happy? Because eventually that’s what marriage looks like. Better like the person sitting next to you.
7. You’re his first. He’s yours too.
Above your parents, friends. Even your kids. Choose your husband first. My parents always made it clear that they were a team before anything else. Kids grow up but the marriage stays.
8. Watch the little things.
Does he open doors? Shake hands with your parents? Look them in the eye? Pick you up on time? Keep his word? Small respects compound. How someone does the little things is often how they’ll do the big ones.
9. Be best friends.
My parents are. They tell each other everything. They genuinely like spending time together. Somewhere along the way people started acting like your spouse shouldn’t be your best friend. Why the hell not?
10. Secrets are cancer.
Don’t keep them. Little lies become big ones. And as my dad always says, “The truth is always easier to remember anyway.”
11. Respect him.
My parents always believed men want respect more than women often realize. Don’t belittle him. Don’t nag him. Being strong yourself doesn’t mean you have to compete with your husband.
And ultimately, do you.
I don’t know if these rules are universal. I just know what I’ve seen.
My mom and dad. Both sets of grandparents. My aunts and uncles. No divorces. Just decades of choosing each other, over and over again.
I guess I didn’t realize growing up how rare that was.
And now, as I’m about to become a mom myself, I realize something else. The person you marry isn’t just the person you build a life with.
They’re the person you build your family with.
And I can’t think of many decisions that matter more.
Chris Priye retweeted
A man will sacrifice his happiness for his family. A woman will sacrifice her family for her happiness.
Chris Priye retweeted
I posted a video of my husband crying on our bedroom floor, added a caption about how useless he'd become, and watched 2.7 million people drag him before he even knew I uploaded it.
And honestly, I thought he'd finally learn.
It started because he'd been ignoring my requests to take me on vacation.
Me: “Babe, everybody's husband is taking them somewhere.”
Husband: “Can we please talk about something else? Money's been tight.”
Me: “Money's always tight when it's about me.”
Husband: “I'm paying the mortgage, the bills, and the kids' tuition.”
Me: “Congratulations. You want a medal?”
He walked away.
I wasn't done.
A few days later, he came home exhausted from work.
Me: “Guess what? My friend's husband just bought her a Mercedes.”
Husband: “Good for her.”
Me: “You see? That's the difference between a man who wants to make his wife happy and one who just wants her to survive.”
He didn't respond.
So I decided to take things online.
I posted a picture of him sleeping on the couch with this caption:
“Imagine being married to a man who makes you feel single.”
It got 40K likes.
Women started commenting:
“Leave him, sis.”
“Some men just want a housekeeper.”
“Girl, you deserve better.”
I showed him the comments.
Me: “At least strangers understand what I'm going through.”
Husband: “Why are you putting our private business online?”
Me: “Maybe if you listened to me privately, I wouldn't need to speak publicly.”
He shook his head and went to bed.
But I wasn't finished.
Last Friday, he came home after working a double shift.
He sat on the edge of the bed and started crying.
Husband: “I can't keep doing this. I'm trying, but nothing I do is ever enough.”
I picked up my phone and recorded him.
I posted the video with the caption:
“When a man realizes his wife is tired of begging for the bare minimum.”
It went viral overnight.
Thousands of women shared it.
Some called him weak. Others said he wasn't man enough to handle marriage.
The next morning, he walked into the kitchen holding his phone.
Husband: “Did you post that video?”
Me: “Yeah. Why?”
Husband: “You recorded me crying?”
Me: “People need to know what happens behind closed doors.”
Husband: “You showed millions of strangers the one moment I broke down because I trusted you enough to cry in front of you.”
Me: “Maybe now you'll understand how I've been feeling.”
Husband: “Take it down.”
Me: “When you start treating me better.”
He stared at me for a long time.
Then he said something I wasn't expecting.
Husband: “I'm not going to beg you to protect my dignity anymore. I'm speaking to a lawyer.”
I laughed because I thought he was bluffing.
He wasn't. ..............
Chris Priye retweeted
as time goes by, you start to notice that not everyone has his patience, his way of taking care of you, or those little things you used to take for granted.
And that's when you realize you didn't just lose anyone... you lost someone who was actually willing to stay..
Chris Priye retweeted
I'm gonna tell you something before it's too late.
Losing a good man doesn't always hurt at first.
At first, you think there'll be someone else, that anyone can give you the same thing, and that he was just doing too much with all his little details.
But....
Chris Priye retweeted
You need money as a married man.
You can't live or do without it.
Other married men may have far more than you have.
And they may have just as much, to help others, while you can't.
As as long as you're able to provide for the needs of your immediate family without them, you're doing your best and fulfilling your roles and duties as a husband and father.
Do not be discouraged.
And do not compare yourself with any man.
All fingers are not equal.
All destinies are not the same.
Provide for your family as much as you can.
And do it legitimately.
Don't be greedy, but you can be stingy.
A greedy man takes and takes, even when he has enough to give out.
A stingy man doesn't like to beg so as to avoid being swamped by entitled persons.
However, if you want to be greedy or stingy, do not be that to your immediate family.
Your lovely wife and your biological children.
End.
Chris Priye retweeted
Stressing over a woman is pointless, bro.
Her choices are out of your control.
Let that free you.
You can't manage her loyalty.
You can't negotiate her respect.
You can't "text right" your way into being chosen.
You've tried. How'd that work out?
A woman's behavior isn't always about you.
It's about her habits. Her standards.
Her discipline. Her character.
So stop taking every dry text like a verdict on your worth.
It's a mirror of her, not you.
Men suffer because they try to control the outcome instead of controlling access.
They chase. They explain. They overinvest. Then call it love. That's not love, man.
That's anxiety with a girl's name on it.
The truth is colder.
If she wants you, she's consistent.
If she respects you, she's clear.
If she values you, she protects the bond.
No confusion required.
So stop stressing.
Stress is what you feel when you're forcing something that isn't yours.
Your job isn't to convince her.
Your job is to observe. Words are cheap. Patterns are honest.
If she doesn't truly care, remove her.
Silently. Cleanly. No speeches.
No 3am paragraph.
Then pray for the right partner.
And act like a man who believes prayers work.
Protect your peace.
Protect your boundaries.
Choose discipline over attachment.
You can't control her choices. You can control your presence.
Replace confusion with standards and let God handle the rest.
Most men spend years stressing over women because nobody ever taught them how attraction and standards really work.
That ignorance costs Everything
That's why I built
Chris Priye retweeted
95% of divorced WOMEN are living in regret, but shame won't let them go back to their husband.
Chris Priye retweeted
The real test of marriage isn't how romantic you are when life is good. It's how you treat each other when money is tight, bills are piling up, stress is high, and life isn't going your way. That's when love, respect, and character are truly exposed.
Chris Priye retweeted
I understand that. For some people, cheating doesn't just break trust; it completely changes how they see their partner. Once that trust is gone, walking away may be the only way they can protect their peace.
Chris Priye retweeted
There’s no forgiveness for a cheating partner in my heart in the first place, immediately I know that’s the end, a cheating partner could kill you, you should be the one person I could give my heart to and you betray that, that’s the end
Chris Priye retweeted
"His loss." Nah.
You just fumbled a man who barely goes out, has two friends, has his priorities straight, and wanted nobody but you.
Congratulations.
He wasn't in the clubs.
Wasn't chasing women. Wasn't collecting bodies. Wasn't keeping backups.
His phone was dry because his loyalty wasn't for sale.
Work. Gym. Home.
Two close friends. One woman.
His life looked boring to the streets because he was serious about his future.
He didn't need ten women validating him.
Didn't need a roster.
Didn't need attention from strangers.
He had options to chase.
He chose peace with you.
But consistency got boring.
Loyalty became ordinary.
His attention became guaranteed.
You got so comfortable being his priority that you forgot being chosen is a privilege.
Now he's gone.
And your friends are screaming "His loss, queen!" Of course they are.
They don't have to date the men you're about to meet.
The next guy might be exciting. Smooth. Popular. Always outside. Always surrounded by women.
Congrats.
You traded a man who wanted one woman for a man who knows how to entertain twenty.
He wasn't perfect.
He was private. Focused. Disciplined. Loyal.
And when a man like that walks away, there's no meltdown, no begging, no revenge tour.
He just removes you from the future he's building.
"His loss." Keep telling yourself that.
He lost a woman who didn't appreciate him.
You lost a man who wasn't looking for anyone else.
Not the same loss.
Chris Priye retweeted
If you have money, get the best of everything. Life is short. Take care of yourself and improve on the things that add quality to your life.
Use the best phone.
Get the best watch.
Wear the best clothes and shoes.
Get the best toothbrush and toothpaste.
Take your kids to the best schools.
Eat at the finest restaurants.
Shit in the fanciest toilet.
Sleep on the softest memory foam bed and pillow.
If you come from a place where your passport is at a disadvantage, buy a second citizenship.
There’s no reward for mediocrity or suffering. Life is short. And if you don’t have the money? Don’t settle for mediocre, there’s greatness within everyone.
Chris Priye retweeted
Women, let me tell you something most of you do not know.
Men feel good when they provide for their women and kids. It gives them purpose. It makes them proud.
A real man wants to carry the home. The problem starts when he is sacrificing himself every day and getting no appreciation or respect in return.
He works hard, pays all the bills. He holds the family together. Then he comes home to complaints, noise, and a woman who acts like everything he does is normal. That is how a provider becomes tired. That is how most men turn cold.
Respect that responsible man. Appreciate the sacrifice. If you treat his provision like a duty and look down on him, you will slowly kill his urge to provide.
Chris Priye retweeted
If a man builds his wealth while you're struggling alongside him, he might stay. If he builds it alone, don't expect him to carry you with it