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Bizarro World's worstest news source, also their only news source. Putting out awkwardly softball type news at regularly random intervals. No like ums posts!

Sector 1482
Joined November 2024
Photo by Dayli Planet (@DailyHtrae)Photo by Dayli Planet (@DailyHtrae)Photo by Dayli Planet (@DailyHtrae)Photo by Dayli Planet (@DailyHtrae)Photo by Dayli Planet (@DailyHtrae)Photo by Dayli Planet (@DailyHtrae)Photo by Dayli Planet (@DailyHtrae)
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth PUNISHES the poor sailor who jumped off a US Navy ship -- AND his family -- in a heartless show of cruelty and spite! Nicholas McKelvey was just 19 years old when he reached the end of his rope aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln. He had spent 255 grueling days at sea, working 12-hour shifts in punishing heat, often without enough food, while his wife struggled to raise their children back home. He had missed the birth of his baby daughter. His mother-in-law was in treatment for cancer. And when he sought help for his deteriorating mental health, he says the Navy directed him to a chaplain instead of a mental health professional. Then, one August morning, McKelvey ran across the flight deck and plunged 67 feet into the Arabian Sea. A helicopter crew rescued him. But instead of treating his desperate act as a mental health emergency, the Navy accused him of FAKING his crisis to escape deployment. And on Thursday, the Navy moved to discharge him under conditions that will cost him his G.I. Bill education benefits – the very benefits he and his wife had been counting on to build a better life for their children. “They'd rather blame the victim,” his wife, Samantha Larry, told The NYT. McKelvey and Larry have been together since middle school. They became parents as teenagers, dropped out of high school and married last year. He joined the Navy in 2024 in hopes of giving his family some sort of stable future. What he found instead was life aboard an aircraft carrier whose deployment stretched to a near-record 322 days as the war with Iran dragged on. Food supplies dwindled. Contact with home became difficult. McKelvey told his wife he wasn't sure he could finish the deployment. “I didn't want to be there anymore,” he told the Times. “If I was going to die because of it, then that's just how it is.” McKelvey was not alone in his existential angst. According to the Navy's own report to Congress, there were EIGHT suicide attempts among sailors in the Lincoln strike group during the deployment. The Navy maintains that McKelvey deliberately jumped overboard to get out of his duties. Its records note that he wore a flotation vest and jumped when the sea was relatively calm. But one officer acknowledged in a report that the deployment had been so difficult it was “unsurprising that we might have a jumper.” Now McKelvey and his wife are preparing to return to Florida with their 3-year-old son and 8-month-old daughter. They're staying with relatives and in temporary rental housing while they figure out how to support their family. “We're going to have to pull out student loans,” Larry said. “It is essentially setting us up for just putting us in debt.” The Navy kept these sailors at sea for nearly 11 months, sent them into a war zone, worked them through punishing conditions and watched their mental health deteriorate. Eight suicide attempts in a single strike group should have set off every alarm in the Pentagon. Even if every day of that deployment was militarily necessary, the sacrifices these sailors made deserve recognition, compassion and care. Instead, when one 19-year-old father finally broke, the Navy accused him of faking it and took away the college benefits he had earned his family's hopes on. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth loves to preach his “warrior ethos,” but what kind of warrior culture treats a sailor's psychological collapse as a disciplinary problem rather than a human emergency? McKelvey gave the Navy everything he had until he had nothing left to give. Now the institution he served is sending him home to his wife and two small children with fewer opportunities than he had when he enlisted. If this is how America repays the sacrifices of its young service members, the Pentagon has a great deal more to worry about than its recruiting numbers.
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All of us at Marvel Studios are deeply saddened by the passing of Sir Patrick Stewart. Sir Patrick brought Professor Charles Xavier to life with extraordinary grace, intelligence, and humanity, defining the character for generations of fans, from "X-Men" to "Logan" to "Avengers: Doomsday." He was a singular talent, a generous collaborator, and a true gentleman. Our hearts go out to his wife Sunny, his children, his friends, and the countless fans around the world whose lives he touched with his art.
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RIP 🕯🩶🙏🫶 LISTEN TO HIM WHAT HE SAID ABOUT TRUMP ❗️❗️❗️ SPOT ON ❗️ ❗️ ❗️
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Trump is over. MAGA is over.
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Martin Sheen, on his endorsement for Jon @ossoff Former President Bartlett @PrezJBartlet once said, “I’m the President of the United States, not the president of the people who agree with me.” And I think that’s a lesson Donald Trump needs to learn.
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This mic flip made me pregnant
OUR 44th president. Let's finish what he started and guarantee healthcare for every American. 🇺🇸
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Billionaires mentioned in the Epstein files have donated $705 million to the Republican Party. Just in case you were wondering what it costs to cover up a criminal pedophile ring.
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Replying to @DailyHtrae
Success! 🥳
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You won't find a funnier 4 seconds that sums up the state of Donald Trump and his presidency right now thepoke.com/2026/10/28/you-w…
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Between a never-ending stream of bizarre media appearances and internal complaints about his excessive drinking, FBI Director Kash Patel is steadily eroding confidence in our country’s federal law enforcement. However, just when you thought he’d brought enough shame to the FBI, he does this: Kash Patel is trying to play off the human centipede he was surgically added to as a Halloween costume. It really doesn’t get more pathetic than this. How can anyone take the FBI seriously when it’s run by someone attached to a literal human centipede?! Yesterday, FBI Director Kash Patel arrived to a press conference with his mouth sewn to the anus of an unidentified woman, and his anus sewn to mouth of an unidentified man, which a spokesperson for the FBI claimed was part of Patel’s elaborate “Halloween costume.” Patel was accompanied by 12 other strangers in total, all surgically sewn together orifice-to-orifice into a human centipede, with Patel serving as the center link in the chain of nude, wailing people. Unable to answer a reporter’s question about the FBI’s unconstitutional probes of anti-ICE protestors, Patel instead scribbled “i cant wait for halloween” on a legal pad through tears, visibly suffering as the person whose anus his mouth was sewn to began to pass a heavy bowel movement into Patel. According to sources, a number of FBI employees were caught off-guard and dismayed by Patel’s “viscerally upsetting” press appearance, expressing outrage that “the people attached to Patel’s mouth and anus were non-FBI personnel, meaning people with zero security clearance are now privy to sensitive information concerning active investigations.” “It’s beyond unprofessional for the acting FBI Director to wear a Halloween costume on the job, so that would be a poor excuse for conducting FBI business from the center of a human centipede even if it were true—which it clearly isn’t,” said an Executive Assistant Director at the bureau, speaking on the condition of anonymity. “To wind up in a human centipede and then blatantly lie about it just to save face speaks volumes about Kash Patel’s character. In my 20 years at the bureau, I’ve never seen leadership undermine itself in such reckless, demoralizing fashion.” Just pitiful. Mr. Patel has single-handedly turned the FBI into a national laughingstock. President Trump needs to replace Kash Patel ASAP if he cares about the FBI maintaining a shred of integrity––that is, if this distraction hasn’t destroyed it entirely. Showing up to work naked, weeping, and sewn ass-to-mouth with a dozen strangers would get you fired from most other jobs, but apparently not in the Trump administration. America is so screwed, isn’t it? Ugh.
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Trump is unhinged. He came to Michigan to say why Abdul El-Sayed is so dangerous, stepped away from the microphone to describe Jon Husted's body, then talked about Nicki Minaj's ass. Not gas. Not jobs. Not prices. Not inflation. Just asses.
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The republicans are Bull Connor/ KKK grand wizard level racist and Trump has made it so they let it all hang out now all the time. These are vile demented cretins and they shouldn’t be trusted to manage an Arby’s never mind a country
RFK: "There's five hundred million Arabs in the world. And yet they don't produce science. They don't win the Novel Prize. They don't win the Fields Prize. They don't win the Wolf Prize. They don't produce literature."
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Elon Musk didn’t create Tesla. He bought it. He didn’t create X. He bought Twitter and ruined it. He didn’t invent the rockets, propulsion systems or telemetry of SpaceX. He used NASA tech and poached their engineers. He’s a venture capitalist and a college dropout. That’s it.
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🔥 BEN MEISELAS ERUPTS: The Cheesecake Factory faux outrage is the PERFECT example of how the propaganda machine works. These people have spent DECADES studying how to brainwash Americans, divide us, and pit us against each other so the oligarchs can get richer, steal our healthcare, send our kids to endless wars, and buy themselves more yachts and private jets. This isn't an accident. It's a calculated, multibillion-dollar propaganda machine designed to keep Americans fighting each other while the people at the top feast on our flesh.
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