@Dayscd

25 year old comedian from Minnesota the state @vdays

 Minneapolis, MN
instagram.com/drosand
Joined December 2014
  • Tweets26K
  • Following1.8K
  • Followers11.6K
3.6KMedia
lowkey i'd let santa claws fuck on me
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lewis@Lewiswbt1Oct 24
I can't explain it but 8pm, the number 437926286537021, my chiropodist's doberman, the Iberian peninsula and the atavistic nature of vestigial tails in humans have the same energy. and Thursday
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Weed before beer, youre in the clear. Beer before pot.. uhhh.. my uncle's hot. No
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Well there goes my couples costume idea to do Ethan and Hila for Halloween... Just great...
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jill@littlefuckyOct 23
New episode of my show comin out in one week from today with amazing band of all time @wishy !!! Subscribe to our YouTube channel to watch more fucking crap like this youtube.com/@jillshouseofroc…
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Ebenezer
@ebenezermovieOct 22
Ebenezer Scrooge is now on @venmo. Think he’s feeling generous? 💰 Send a request: venmo.com/u/EBENEZERmovie
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Nobody else get a haircut until we can figure out what’s going on
Marlow Stern
@MarlowNYCOct 22
within 29 minutes of each other
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jos@josiahhughesOct 22
me: le one "you can see everything" ticket please 😏 cineplex employee: ok here you go sir me: [goes to every movie currently playing] cineplex employee: fuhhhhhh! me: should've read the fine print bitchezzzzz 😛
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they have taken my idea
Polymarket
@PolymarketOct 21
JUST IN: McDonald's announces its first-ever reservation-only "fine dining experience" in New York City on October 29.
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Me: now, do you understand why it’s funny when Steve-O is covered in diarrhea inside the porta potty? Elizabeth Holmes: well a porta potty shouldn’t be in the air like that.
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announcer 1: you're talking about a guy who doesn't just hate to lose , he also loves to win announcer 2: that's a rare combination
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days@DayscdMay 3
ai julian casablancas: the adults are groking
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jill@littlefuckyOct 18
I wonder how blind folx feel about “You Can See Everything.” I wonder if they’re like well I guess this one isn’t for me…
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In/Pacino/Out@slime_machineOct 17
Valorant character: Noah, a Gen Z raver from the Golan Heights with turntables on his hoodie Deadlock character: Giant Rat
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i give obama uppies then 200ft obama gives both of us uppies like a Fractal
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If it was a documentary about John Cena it would be called YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING EXCEPT ME
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I hate when marketing teams want to make the product talk to me. Like when you buy a box of chicken and the box says Mmm crispy. Shut the fuck up bitch you're a fucking box
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h@ipodmacbookOct 14
ive always been very anti AI and i feel like a complete idiot for that now. i had no idea it saved corporations money
Variety
@VarietyOct 12
"Merry the Christmas Witch" director Tom Walsh says his movie adaptation of the 2012 children’s book would've cost $80 million if he did not use AI. The final budget was $1.5 million. “We were kind of stuck. The doors are not very open to new kind[s] of ideas and new kind[s] of stories and everything, and that makes it a little tough for independent filmmakers, so that’s where AI came in.” variety.com/2026/film/news/m…
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It’s not fair that it costs me $35 to go to the zoo but the animals get in for free
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Scope
@FaZeScopeOct 13
WAIT FOR IT
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