DervishSimulator🐧 retweeted
If you saw how I clean yogurt off the foil lid, you’d stop playing hard-to-get.
DervishSimulator🐧 retweeted
Choombata I’m gonna keep it an eddy with you. Daddy is gonked off the sauce
DervishSimulator🐧 retweeted
Gurdjieff is entering the public consciousness and the consequence of neo-pagan larpers and spiritually illiterate tech bros getting their greasy, grasping hands on his teachings will be inconprehensibly dire. (Last time we got Himmler btw)
DervishSimulator🐧 retweeted
How newly obligated Entered Apprentices feel when I get to be Musician during their initiation:
"Got any games on your phone?"
DervishSimulator🐧 retweeted
back in 2016 pewdiepie could bro-fist your girl and there was nothing you could do about it
DervishSimulator🐧 retweeted
H3 drama and Billie eilish breast reduction surgery flooding my timeline, I can only assume the banks have recently failed and a nuke just dropped
Too early to say at the moment but Roberto (Real name) one of the Italian Sims, was just found hanging beneath blackfriars bridge in London.
Will update here
DervishSimulator🐧 retweeted
Passing out at 8pm after putting my precious children to bed. I wake up in the middle of the night with guilt for all my blessings, self hatred for all my sins, and obsessive thought which has plagued me since childhood, but finally I find forgiveness for myself and the world. All will be saved. Now wide awake, I roll over and check x, the everything app, it opens on my fyp, and the first video is an insanely fat woman eating ribs and slapping her belly. The next video is a guy washing poop out of his own ass with his pee. The third is of a live streamer laying on his couch soaked in gasoline playing with a lighter until he self immolates and the whole chat goes “bro hell no!! 😭 why bro doing that!!” Finally, I feel myself drifting back to sleep… I am relaxed… I do not fear what waits for me in dreams…. For all hell’s creatures have been captured in the device in my pocket… God be with you



















