Lic. SonoRancio

BREAKING: Iran is now distributing iodine tablets to communities within a two to three kilometer radius of its sensitive nuclear facilities over fears of a US nuclear attack, a Health Ministry official confirms to The Times. "Yes, we are distributing iodine. Trump can no longer be trusted. He may go through with this crime," the official said. "Everyone knows that very little time remains. If America does not use a nuclear weapon against Pickaxe Mountain, it will be a miracle," an Iranian analyst with close ties to the IRGC said. Senior figures across the government, the IRGC and the regular armed forces expect Pickaxe to be among the principal targets of the coming war. Iraq activated nuclear emergency plans and border radiation monitoring yesterday.