My name is Searle, making the world a better place

I really try not to give offence, but some people take it anyway.

Aren't they going to tell us who got first and second? bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cr3e…

According to environmental campaigners Scotland's carbon budget is at risk of being ‘torpedoed’ by AI data centres. Especially if they are located in D5, D6 and D7. #jokedump

A ticket that let a mother watch the Titanic leave Southampton is going to auction, with an expected price of up to £50,000. It will be three times as much by the time they put it on Ticketmaster #jokedump

Kim Kardashian's Skims is refunding customers for its advent calendar which has been criticised on social media. One account on TikTok compared the contents to things "my cat collects from around my house". That’ll be the dead mouse behind door number 13. #jokedump

Kim Kardashian's Skims company has issued a statement on the social media backlash about cheap gifts in their advent calendar saying, "As one door opens, it has a tacky keyring behind it". #jokedump

Sales of tinned food and bottled water have jumped after the launch of the 'Be Ready' campaign. Reports say cans of Baxters Fish Soups are going like a bomb. #jokedump

Former ‘Traitor’, and host of the reality TV show Love Island, Maya Jama is stepping down from the programme. But can we believe anything she says? #jokedump

Trump has said more US attacks on Iran are 'highly unlikely'. In response Tehran has started building more bomb shelters. #jokedump

The government is considering a ban on communication devices such as mobiles in classrooms. This is not new, Victorian schools banned pupils from having hankies "lest they were used to semaphore". #jokedump

A Chinese woman has denied she had an affair with the boss of tech firm Nvidia because she was a spy trying to get secrets out of him. Instead she claims she was only interested in him because she heard he was Huang. #jokedump

Nerds around the world celebrated this week when they heard the news that the head of a techie firm had managed to have a relationship with a woman. #jokedump

A cruise ship pianist was rescued from the sea after nine hours treading water in the Pacific Ocean. He was picked up by a fishing vessel who mistook him for piano tuna. #jokedump

Educational establishments are facing a skills shortage which is affecting their ability to deliver courses. The problem is especially bad at Clown College, due to so many leaving the profession to go into politics. #jokedump

A teenager missing for six days in dense Australian bushland has been found alive. The authorities were directed to his whereabouts by a passing kangaroo called ‘Skippy’. #jokedump

An Indian court has ordered an investigation into allegations that a public library in Tamil Nadu bought books generated using AI. Suspicions were raised when it was revealed the librarian had visited the Shetland Arts and Crafts Association for the Up-Helly-Aa week. #jokedump

A 74-year-old man, who was found guilty of a kidnapping in the 1970s, is on the run from house arrest in Argentina after abseiling from a balcony. They should have predicted this as, coming from the 1970s, just before he left he placed a box of chocolates on the pillow #jokedump

A sculpture which disappeared from an art exhibition in a suspected theft has been returned with an apology and donation to a charity. The Greek government is hoping for a similar outcome with the Elgin Marbles. #jokedump